


Heaven in Hiding

by t0bemadeofglass



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, The Last Jedi
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Double Penetration, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Multiple Universes Colliding, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Past Character Death, Porn With Plot, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-02-19 05:42:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13117248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t0bemadeofglass/pseuds/t0bemadeofglass
Summary: Rey is just getting up and around for the day when there’s someone in her apt who looks just like her neighbor, the art student asshole who lives down the hall from her. This new man is dressed all in black, has a scar running down his face, and looks at her like he’s just seen heaven. Nevermind the glowing red sword in his hand.Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, lost his Rey, and in his grief ripped a hole in the universe, one that might allow him a second chance. Faced with the chance to have Rey back, he’s fully committed to whatever it takes to bring her around and restore balance to his world.But what if Rey’s Ben Solo, newly confronted with an adversary for her affections, isn’t ready to let that happen?





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> SO. WHO'S STOKED BY THE LAST JEDI?!  
> this kid, right here.  
> First stop: canon divergence meets modern AU because I can't be stopped from writing Breylo and AUs by anything, but I also want to incorporate the gift that is TLJ. Thank you all so much for reading! As with Misbehaving for Days, I'm going to attempt to actually sit down and focus on one work so it all ends up cohesive, so I'm going to do my absolute best to get you guys updates ASA-freaking-P.  
> I cannot stress enough how helpful I find comments in keeping me motivated to write. I know you hear it a hundred thousand times, but getting that new inbox notification is the fire under any author's ass that helps provide you all with new content. 
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you, and I hope you enjoy <3

As was par for the course on a Monday morning, Rey was behind. Significantly. Last night's rousing Sunday Funday session with Poe and Finn had ended with her getting home from the bar far later than she’d ever intended. One restless night of sleep later brought her waking up to her third alarm, mouth full of cotton and eyes crusted over from a deep sleep. 

And her first class was on the farthest side of campus. 

Screaming and scrambling for shoes, socks, and some mouthwash, she lit up through her small apartment. BB squealed as she nearly trod on her cat's gimp of a tail, hastening to throw on a shirt that didn't smell like beer, and didn't require a bra in the mid-fall chill that had crept into the corners of the city. _Fuck_ , she was going to fail this class if she wasn't careful, having already used up two of her three sick days on the flu that'd set her back half a month's rent and what felt like two weeks worth of homework. She supposed she could splurge on an Uber if she absolutely had to, and had just picked up her phone to check for the next driver's availability when she heard movement from the corner of the room. There came a crackling, like wood on the fire, and as she looked up she felt panic race through her veins to see a man, dressed all in black, standing at her, motionless. The room seemed to pull in tight around him, as though trying to make itself as tiny as possible in response to his broad shoulders and wide stance. In his hand he held what she could only explain as a sword of fire, one that caused her heart to skip a beat in fear. 

Was she dead? Had she been killed by a drunk driver, and now whoever had taken her to the afterworld came to gloat about her shitty, shitty soul and life choices? “What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” she managed to gasp, her eyes wide as she took a step back, terror twinning with panic as she realized how very small her home was. 

The man’s face was familiar, and for half a second she had to choke back a laugh as she realized why. She’d never known Ben Solo to be such a creep, or to have a way into her apartment at all. In fact, he tended to stay as far away from her as humanly possible when he wasn't complaining passive aggressively about her down the hall, or shooting her long, confusing glances from his own door three apartments down. This time, his look was akin to that of being hit upside the back of the head, his dark eyes wide and his lips falling open as the sword powered off in his hand. Powered off? Swords . . . fire just didn't do that.

“It’s you,” he said softly, voice a deep timbre, as he stepped closer than she was wholly comfortable with. She angled the table between them, and struggled to keep the incredulity off of her face. 

“Yeah. You’re kind of in my apartment, of course it’s me.” 

He blinked once, then a second time, as he looked around as though just now realizing where he was. Was he high? She supposed it might excuse the odd behavior, the surprise, but not the fucking electric sword . . . thing in his hand. It looked a gnarly contraption in his palm, and she kept expecting to see the plastic or fiberglass that kept the light in place before but it seemed curiously  _ empty _ . 

“You’re Rey, aren’t you?” he asked, head tipping to the side, as though expecting it to be a trick when she was in her own fucking home. 

“I am.”

His face cracked into a grin so wide it made her heart jolt. “Then I’ve found you.”

She was so confused. It must’ve shown on her face because the man who knew her name, who carried what could only be described as a laser sword, with a scar longer than her arm bisecting his face and throat, couldn’t have been looking for her. He was staring at her as though he saw the moon for the first time, and there was no possible way a look that sweet was meant for her. Especially not with his face. It couldn’t have been Ben Solo, but it couldn’t  _ not  _ have been him, either. She opened her mouth, hoping to try and explain her surprise and disbelief, when the world whorled around her, and the table came up to meet her forehead. The last thing she heard was a great  _ whoosh _ in her ears, as though everything had stopped around her, and all was black. 

\--

 

She was definitely going to be late for class. She should’ve just emailed her professor to tell him, and her head was heavy as her book bag as she forced herself to come back to reality, blinking in the unforgiving sunlight. She was back in her room, and as she rubbed her forehead and looked up at the cracked stucco ceiling, she tried to remember the strangest dream she’d just woken up from. A man with eyes like bark and a smile as sweet as the powdered donuts Finn devoured by the six pack. Fuck. She’d never be able to look at Ben the same way again, she thought as she sat up--and had to suffocate a scream as she saw Ben sitting opposite her bed, staring intently at her. What the hell was going on!? 

“Can I fucking--how did you even get into my apartment?” she demanded, wanting to throw the lamp at him or something, if only to break the adoring look that he shot her way. She’d never seen him so much as crack a smile in her direction in the whole seven months they’d lived near one another, introduced only by her traitorous cat having run into his apartment by complete accident. He’d very nearly kicked it as he shooed it out, and Rey’d shouted that she’d have him reported for animal abuse if he ever so much as looked at her tabby again. 

Now, the fat beast was curled up between her and Ben, licking his leg as though nothing was off, as though it was entirely normal for her estranged neighbor to be sitting  _ in her room _ without having been invited into her apartment to begin with. 

He brought his hands up in front of him, like he knew the violence she was considering, and she growled as he stood slowly. “I know this must be confusing, but I’m not here to hurt you.” 

Yeah. She didn’t really believe that. There was no other excuse for his behavior than for it to be less than wholesome in meaning, and she was strongly considering throwing something heavier in his direction when he spoke again. “You act as though you know my face, but you and I have never been properly introduced in this world.” 

Hadn’t they? She’d consider his forceful shouting at her an introduction to be certain, though perhaps proper wasn’t a good enough word for it. Her eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about, I act as if I know your face? You live right across the hall from me.” 

His eyes narrowed as he looked towards her door, like he was expecting some doppelganger to step from the shadows. Hell, at this point, she might not have put it past the universe to send her something so weird. The whole situation--the way he looked at her, the way he spoke, certainly felt . . . different. He wasn’t glowering at her, which was a nice but strange change. “Then I am not who you think I am, Rey.”

Because that made a whole lot more sense. “No?” she asked dryly. “Then who are you?”

He looked as though he wasn’t sure how to answer that, and it set her stomach on edge. She sat up a little straighter, her spine aching from how tense her shoulders were, eyes set on his face and the way it transformed with his clear discomfort in answering. She hadn’t even realized that she was leaning closer until his eyes snapped back on hers and she found her breath catching in her throat. 

“Your soulmate. My name is Kylo Ren, and I traveled through what can only be described as a rip in the galaxy to find you.” 


	2. two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVES! I hope you all had wonderful days, and if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you were able to enjoy the day off! It snowed like CRAZY here, so that was fun, but I'm back home now, in my comfy SW pajamas, getting ready for work tomorrow. Woo!
> 
> THANK YOU A MILLION for all the comments! They're so inspirational and motivational--I really couldn't do this without all of you. I grin from ear to ear every time I get one, and you all seriously make my day that much better when I get 'em. Have a happy new year, all!

What. The fuck. What the actual fuck. Her head started to spin as she struggled to piece it all together, wetting her lips and blinking quickly. He stepped closer, rounding the edge of the bed, and she couldn’t find the air to tell him to back off as he cupped both sides of her face with his hands. “Breathe, Rey. Just breathe.” 

How? How was she supposed to be able to focus when what he was saying--what this  _ man with her neighbors face  _ was insinuating--was impossible? Still, she felt the oxygen rush into her lungs as she forced herself to concentrate on expanding her chest, holding the air for a solid five seconds, then letting it out. 

She reached out and smacked him upside the head, hard enough that Kylo actually recoiled. “Don’t--I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing at, but no. Get out of my apartment.” Now that she’d started talking, she couldn’t stop. He was crazy. Nuts. There was no reason for a strange man to be in her house, in her room, and claiming that they were soulmates when what the hell did that even  _ mean _ ? She slid back on her mattress, slipping too far so that she fell off the other side, hard enough to send pain shooting up her back and arms where she’d tried to catch herself. Fuck! Scrambling to her feet, she watched as this Kylo Ren straightened and stared at her, as though he was trying to read her mind. 

“You’re afraid,” he breathed. 

“Yeah, no shit!” Her voice grew shrill, and she wished she had something in the form of a weapon to throw at him, to show that she meant business. “You’re a fucking psychopath and you’re in my bedroom! Get out!” 

He didn’t move, and now her chest was beating so hard it actually hurt. Breathing heavily, she looked for anything that could be thrown at him to do some actual damage, opting on the thick calculus book she’d tried selling back, only to find it was worthless and out of date by half a month. She managed to get a decent grip, and adrenaline provided more than enough support for her to chuck it at him, hoping it might at least buy her some time--. 

Only to watch it pause in mid-air, hanging suspended as though kept afloat by an invisible tether. 

Now. Now she was dreaming. Now she had to be on some sort of hallucinogenic, filtered in from the potheads that lived upstairs who’d clearly gotten something extra mixed in with their afternoon toke. Her mouth went dry, and her gaze shifted to see Kylo’s hand extended towards the book, fingers outstretched as if he alone kept it in the air and away from his face. Rey backed up until she hit the wall, and slid down it as the book fell on the bed with a heavy thump. 

What was happening? 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Kylo said, in a voice so soft that she could barely make it out, her eyes fixed on his from across the room. He moved slowly, painfully so, drawing out the tension between them like poison from a snakebite. Rey felt her body start to tremble as he finally stopped in front of her, mind racing. What could she do, if she couldn’t hit him, disarm him, slow him down enough to allow her to escape? There was a reason that she had every right to be terrified of a strange man appearing in her apartment, alone, with no one any the wiser that he was there or she was in danger. Her pulse raced as he reached out to touch her cheek, and a soft whimper left her throat as she closed her eyes and looked away. He caught her chin and eased her back to face him. 

“I understand this is difficult to realize, given the circumstances of my arrival. But I’m not here to hurt you, Rey.” His thumb slid over her bottom lip, a move which might’ve elicited arousal had it been in any other situation, with any other non-predatory man. As it was, she could hardly stand to breathe, staring wide eyed at him as he allowed his expression to soften with that same, warm smile from before. It allowed her bones to relax, if only just, and she blinked as she stared up at him. “Let me show you. Please.” 

How? She nodded, in a vain attempt that it might allow her a moment to collect herself, but the world tilted around her yet again, and she felt herself being sucked down a spiral. Two figures dancing in a forest, the world around them bathed in blue and red light, twisting and sparking as they moved. The world between them cracked in two, separating the sides as fire licked at the edges of the snow covered landscape. Barbed words shot through space and time, a bolt that ought to have connected and sizzled through flesh, but just missed its target. Hands touching hands in the light of a fire that burned in the heart of the pair of them. Back to back, swinging those same swords against figures in red, stronger in number, but not in heart or will. 

 

“Don’t do this.” 

 

“Please.” 

 

Rey came to with a gasp, staring into the scarred face of a man who looked as though his very last hope rested on her shoulders, on the images that’d been burned through her brain though there was no real explanation as to why. “What are you?” Now it was her turn to ask questions, it seemed, as every fiber within her seemed to beg for contact. For his skin against hers. 

She wondered if he was exceptionally good at reading expressions, or if he could read minds as easily as it seemed he could dictate what images they saw. His expression softened as her own must've radiated fear and worry, and he cupped the side of her face as though he meant to comfort her with his touch. God, but it worked. That was perhaps the strangest part. She felt her heart start to slow down, to maintain a far more regular beat, as Kylo wet his lips and continued to stroke her cheek. “I am an anomaly to you world, and I am your soulmate.” 

An anomaly didn’t sound like strong enough word, but the second part of his statement--. She felt her breath catch in her throat at the assumption that such a thing might even exist, let alone the assertion that he  _ was  _ her--. Well. If she believed in such a thing, she supposed that all literature, movies, and television had prepared her that any sort of soulmate would be one that would go to all sorts of lengths in order to be together. Weren’t they the relationships that were defined by hardships and separation, made all the more important by the difficulties both parties endured to get to one another? Her stomach dropped at the thought, at the idea of this man, whoever or whatever he might’ve been, having such a profound effect in her life that it would uproot her and change everything from then on. 

“I can’t do this right now,” she gasped, pulling from him and standing. “I don’t know how you got here, I don’t know what you seem to think, but soulmates--. Soulmates is where I draw the line. Today has been too weird, and I swear I’m still drunk or something but--holy  _ shit  _ what did Poe and Finn put into my drink?”

She didn’t have to look at him to know that his demeanor changed entirely at the mention of those names. It was as though the room around her darkened, like the sun had hid behind a cloud, and all that was left were the shadows of what should have been a beautiful, pseudo summer day. She looked up at Kylo and saw his body practically shaking, hands fisted at either side. That didn’t look good. 

“Kylo?” she asked quietly, unsure whether or not she should, but she needed to at least fill the silence with something other than the sound of her pictures rattling on the walls. “What did I say?” 

“Poe Dameron . . . and Finn? FN-2187?” 

Rey’s brow furrowed. How in the hell did he know Finn’s bike combination? Rey had needed to snag the bike to run from class to class before but--there was no reason for Kylo to know any of this. Her mouth went dry and her heart sped up in her chest. “Finn Storm, and Poe Dameron. Yes. They’re my friends.” But how did he know them, or know of them? There was no explanation for it, and though that seemed to be the theme of the day, it didn’t mean it made it feel any better about what was happening, or what Kylo knew. 

The look he shot her made to ask whether or not they were truly  _ just friends _ , and she felt her cheeks color at the accusation. Not like he had any say in it. He was a complete stranger as far as either of them were concerned! Even if he looked at her as though he’d known her across lifetimes, she’d met him all of an hour ago, and hadn’t made the strongest case for himself in the meanwhile. Rey crossed her arms over her chest and her eyes narrowed. “You really wanna ask the question that’s on your mind?” 

His lips parted, and not for the first time she considered knocking him on his ass for assuming what he didn’t know, when a knock on her door made the both of them jump. Now what? 

“We’re done with that conversation, just so you know,” she shot to Kylo, who didn’t look all that pleased, and followed after her as she made her way around the mess of her apartment towards the door, so close he was practically breathing down her neck. “Could you not?” she seethed as she whipped around to glower, and nearly kissed his chest in the process, forced to notice how incredibly tall he was given his close proximity. Fuck. How did they even  _ make men  _ that tall? 

He didn’t even bother with an apology as the knock echoed on the door again, but when she stepped away he remained at least a couple inches away. It was an improvement, she guessed, and better than nothing. Now, the real question was who in the hell came to bother her when everyone knew she was supposed to be in class. 

She tried not to think about the fact that she’d missed it. Again. 

She opened the door as there was a third knock on the door, her face twisted into a scowl of irritation, then blank shock, as Ben Solo stood in front of her with a look like thunder, shoving a couple letters past the threshold and towards her. He looked freshly shaved, his beard well trimmed, and dressed for the day in a fitted button down and pair of black dress trousers, and Rey’s head spun. She was sure the dumbstruck look on her face didn’t help with his irritation towards her.  “Your mail got mixed up with mine again. You really ought to verify that you are using the correct add--who the fuck is that?”

She had the exact same question, she thought, looking from Ben’s look of shocked surprise, and Kylo’s almost palpable fear at the sight of his twin. This was going to require alcohol. A lot of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal note: I'm not ready to turn 26 tomorrow.   
> Yeah. I'm gonna drown myself in writing fic! It's gonna be great!


	3. three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes! You're all freaking amazing, and it made me grin every time I saw them. I hope you've all had wonderful holidays, or a great week in general, and that your New Years is just as fantastic!

If she’d been told that her day was going to consist of sitting across from two exact replicas of the same man, down to the last mole, freckle, and charming quirk of their lips when they considered how odd the situation was, Rey would’ve thought her informant had lost their damn mind. From what she could see of Ben’s face he was similarly wondering at what exactly had gotten him to this point in his life. He kept looking between the two of them, as if hoping it was going to be some sort of elaborate prank played on him by his neighbor and his twin. The beer that Rey had offered him sat, half full, while Rey had dumped the last fourth of a cheap white wine into her morning orange juice. Kylo had declined, oddly enough. Did they have alcohol where he was from?

Was that even the right word for what the two men were? Ben might as well have xeroxed a copy of himself and ran it through a 3D printer. If it wasn’t for the scar bisecting half of Kylo’s face, the scruff that covered half of Ben’s jaw and upper lip, and the very obvious difference in clothes, Rey might not have been able to tell the two apart even with them so close. 

“So. What the hell is happening?” Ben asked, his adam’s apple visibly bobbing as he stared at Rey, as though hoping she’d be the one to have the suitable answer, but it was Kylo who answered. 

“I could ask you the same. What’s your name?” His eyes narrowed, and for half a second Rey swore she saw that same sort of distrust and distaste fall over his gaze as she saw when she’d brought up Finn and Poe. 

“Benjamin Solo.” 

Rey heard all the air leave Kylo’s lungs in a sort of surprised, terrified, huff that set her on edge. Why? Why was that such a worrisome name? There were pieces missing to this puzzle, pieces neither she or Ben knew about, that had Kylo’s eyes going wide with realization and something akin to fear. 

Ben, looking as though he was struggling not to be distracted, leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. “And your name?” 

“Kylo Ren.” 

Ben’s next inhale stopped halfway, causing him to choke in his surprise as he stared pointedly at Kylo. “Where the fuck did you come up with that?” he demanded, eyes narrowing. Gone was his attempt at looking casual, and now he looked as if he’d been smacked upside the head. 

“Wait, why?” Rey looked to him. 

“That was the--.” His ears burned, and his lips pressed tightly together as he pointedly avoided her gaze, as though the truth of the words would hurt if they left his lips. Rey had the faintest urge to poke him, to see if he’d collapse under the weight of her finger. If the secrets would spill froward like a rush of water after the dam had broken. Her curiosity had been piqued, and Kylo’s looked as though it had, too, even if his eyes hadn’t lost the faint trace of anxiety he’d had before. 

“That was the . . . what?” Rey asked, wetting her lips as she stared at him. 

Ben’s neck started to color, and he glowered at her tablecloth, as though he might be able to make it catch fire from the intensity of his stare. She wouldn’t put it past him, and she had half a mind to go grab a glass of water just in case. With all of the weirdness that had happened already, it would’ve been pretty much par for the course. 

Finally, just as Rey was about to open her mouth to ask again, he growled out: “That was the name of a character in a book I was writing. Back when I thought I was going to be an author. Kylo Ren, a fearsome sword carrying anti-hero  _ whoalwaysgotthegirlandyetrefusedtobeemotionallyattached _ .” He spat the last words out so quickly that Rey had to think hard in order to process them and space them correctly, but Kylo at her side had cracked a wide grin. Ben looked as though he was about to faint.

“Well. You’re not wrong about all of it.”

Ben spluttered. “But this  _ can’t be happening _ . I wrote those books when I was an undergrad--it’s been  _ years _ . Are you trying to tell me that you’re . . . you’re.” He looked about to pass out, and Rey reached over to touch his arm gently. His gaze darted towards her, his brow furrowed so hard she worried it might get stuck like that. She didn’t know he’d wanted to be an author. 

She didn’t know a lot about him. 

Kylo prickled on her other side. “Hardly. I’m not your character come to life, if that’s what you’re thinking. I am my own person.” 

“So why did you look so affronted when I told you my name, if you aren’t a creation of my imagination?” Ben demanded, sitting closer in his seat. He didn’t shove Rey off, so she counted that as a victory. 

“Because your name used to be mine before I chose another. One of my own design.” 

If Rey had thought her head was spinning before, it was nothing in comparison to this confusion. What in the hell was that supposed to mean? Ben looked similarly confused by Kylo's words, and looked as if he would lined same thing, had his phone not gone off seconds before either could ask what the hell he'd meant by it. Ben bit the inside of his cheek but pulled his phone out either way. He growled as he looked down at the time, pulling his arm away from Rey and running a hand through his hair. 

“I don’t have time for this. I’m running late for my seminar and--Jesus  _ fuck,  _ this is really weird. Can you just . . . not go anywhere until I get back?” he demanded, looking from Kylo to Rey, who huffed.

“I have classes to get to as well.” 

“Classes?” Kylo’s brow furrowed as he looked at Rey, head tipping to the side. “You’re an adult. Why would you still be in school?”

Oh she didn’t want to talk about this. Didn’t want to have to explain the man who supposedly came from from a different  _ galaxy  _ about the realities of her world. “Because I have to be,” she said with a scowl, sneaking a peek at her own phone and feeling her stomach drop as she saw she had a new email from her morning professor, informing her that this was her last absence used. 

Really, she thought as she stood up and Ben left with one last, confused look at the pair of them, she ought to just drop the damn thing and try again next semester. Something told her this problem wasn’t going to be an easy fix, and Monday mornings were too much of a bitch. 

 

Kylo insisted on going with her to classes, and honestly Rey didn’t have the time or the heart to tell him no. Not when he shot her those wide, brown eyes whenever she so much as hinted at him staying in her apartment. Really, where else was he supposed to go? As of now she didn’t see a better option than to believe his story about the rip in time. What choice did she have when there was no other explanation for him just arriving in her apartment the way he did? Weirder things had happened, didn’t they? It was lucky that Ben happened to have a couple extra shirts that Rey wheedled him into lending, and a jacket, because Rey didn’t want to imagine the looks they’d get from Kylo making his way down the street in the full black on black get up he’d arrived in. 

Fuck, she didn’t have time for these complications. 

“Okay, so I--I don’t know. Get coffee or something while I’m in class, I guess. You can’t come into the class with me,” she said as they stopped outside of the engineering building, her heart already racing, and she hadn’t even made the three-story-stairs haul yet to get to her classroom. “There’s a Starbucks in that building over there,” she motioned. “Or a mom and pop store over on that corner. I’ll be done in an hour and a half, then we’ll--We’ll figure this out.” 

His eyes followed where it was she pointed out, and if he didn’t understand her instructions he didn’t make any note of it. She very nearly breathed a sigh of relief when he stepped closer to her and cupped her chin, forcing her to look up at him. A surreal chill raced up her spine that had nothing to do with the breeze that picked up around them. His half smile made her stomach twist in a way that wasn’t entirely familiar to her, and when he bent down to kiss her cheek she felt her next breath get trapped in her lungs. Oh. Heat flooded her cheeks, and she had to try and not grin like a fucking maniac because he was still a  _ stranger and God in heaven what was wrong with her _ \--. 

“Have a good class,” he said softly, before he turned to walk in the direction she’d pointed him to Starbucks. 

It wasn’t until she was already firmly seated in class that she caught herself gazing out towards where he had disappeared, and she realized she hadn’t given him money or anything for a coffee, let alone a phone or something to distract himself with. 

Why was this so damn difficult? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love reading all of your reactions to the updates: they give me life and inspire me to write every day. I'm hard at work on this fic, and then another I'm working on with Kuresoto, which'll hopefully be showing up sometime after the new year, so yeah! Thanks again for all of your comments, kudos, and thoughts!


	4. four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every update I am absolutely _floored_ by the response to this fic. You guys are the reason I keep writing, the inspiration that keeps me going day after day. Thank you a thousand times over, and please accept my humble offering of an update as my way of expressing how grateful I am for you all. 
> 
> Wishing you a very happy new year, fellow Reylos. 2017 may've been a bit of a dumpster fire of a year, but we got through! 
> 
> Also I adore all of you that were just as concerned about his lack of money to buy coffee. That made me grin big time.

Class dragged, and when she finally was released it was all Rey could do to keep from hopping over the desks in her haste to get out. Visions of that red sword coming back to life as Kylo realized that he had no money to pay for anything, and nothing to pass the time away, haunted her throughout the class to the point of distraction. She might as well have not gone given how little notes she’d managed to take, and what few facts she’d taken away from the lecture. He was blessedly sitting down in a still intact building. Nothing seemed to be out of place, and it anything his gaze seemed . . . Slightly glazed over. Off. As though he wasn't altogether there. Rey breathed a slow sigh of relief, and stepped over to where he sat, his back in the corner of the building so that he could see her before she could sneak up on him. His gaze focused, and his lips twisted into a small smile as he stood up, lifting a small coffee cup while he did. Oh. Maybe his money worked here, too? Somehow it didn't seem likely, but what the hell did she know about intertimeline travel?

“Your caf here is really exceptional,” he admitted, swirling the contents in his cup and offering her a sip. She flushed, and shook her head. “I'm gonna get one of my own. I don't want to drink all your coffee if you like it so much. You guys have coffee, then?” 

He gave a nod, following her and eyeing her bag as she dug through it for money. “We do. And don’t bother with that. What is it you want?” he asked with a smile that she probably shouldn’t have found so endearing, but he looked . . . young when he graced her with a smile. As though he was without worries and cares. She was envious of such a thing, not sure such a peace actually existed. 

“Uhh. Dark roast with a shot of espresso and heavy cream,” she said after a moment. Kylo blinked, nodded, and took his place in line, leaving Rey to watch in wonder as he made his way up to the line. It was nice of him to offer her coffee, though again her mind flew back to the question of how it was he paid for it. She watched, flabbergasted, as he leaned in to speak to the barista, with one hand braced on the counter, and the other just an inch or so off the counter itself. He moved his fingers in a strange sort of wave, curling them in on his palm as he smiled. Without another word between them, the barista turned, poured the drink, and handed it over. Rey didn’t see a damn dollar, swipe of card, or payment made on phone, sending her heart racing as she waited for them to get popped for theft. Unless Kylo had made friends exceedingly quickly, why on earth would anyone give him a drink for free? 

He was still smiling as he came back and offered her the coffee, his expression that of being pleased with himself as he sipped his own drink. “It smells stronger than most. Do you enjoy drinking fighter fuel?” He was angling for a joke, but Rey couldn’t wrap her mind around what she’d just seen. 

“How did you pay for this?” she asked, keeping her voice down as she looked back at the barista, who was shaking her head as though she’d been woken out of a trance, then disappeared into the back. Rey gripped Kylo by the arm and pulled him towards the door, her anxiety getting the better of her. She should go back and pay for it, but to pay for it admitted that he’d not done it himself. 

“I used the Force.”

Rey’s brows pulled down in a confused scowl as she tugged him into a small alcove just down the way. The hall was empty, classes back in session. She was done for the day, but couldn’t bring herself to leave just yet. Not till she knew the truth about what had happened, and could make peace with it. “The force of what?” 

Kylo wet his lips and held up his palm. Her coffee cup left her hand before she could so much as do anything to stop it, the lid popping off with ease as the dark liquid rose and churned above them. It spiraled, ribboning in the air, before easing back into her cup. The lid replaced itself, and Kylo dropped his hand back to his side. The book stopping in air made much more sense now, Rey thought as she sucked in deep lungfuls of air and struggled to keep from shouting in surprise. 

“The Force. The binding agent of every universe. I’m surprised to find that your world has it, but pleased. I take it you’ve never heard of such a thing before.” 

“No.” The word came out a choked laugh, one that made her cheeks color with the emphasis of it all, and she sipped her coffee hesitantly. It had cooled down almost perfectly, now. “How . . . does the Force work?”

Kylo’s grin, if possible, grew even wider. “I can teach you, if you’d like. At least about it.” 

Well, she couldn’t remember if she had any homework left to do, so . . . . “Yeah, I’d like that. Let’s get back home, first. You’re sure I don’t need to pay for this?” 

Kylo shook his head. “She doesn’t even remember making it.” 

While it didn’t necessarily make Rey feel any better, she couldn’t deny that her coffee tasted all the sweeter with the knowledge that it was free. 

 

Their walk took place in relative silence, Rey trying to piece together how she still felt about him being there while Kylo simply sipped at his coffee, looking for all the world as if he belonged. As if there was nothing he was supposed to be doing except walking beside her. He took her hand in his once, and she let him for the first few moments before her anxiety kicked in, and she let him go. Her phone beeped with a text from Finn, asking why she wasn't at their first class that day, but she didn't respond. Not yet. Not until she had a decent answer for her absence that didn't make her sound crazy. 

From the corner of her eye, she kept sneaking looks in his direction, doing her very best to be subtle about it. Part of her wanted to ask about the scar that practically bisected his face, but the rest of her wondered whether or not it’d be too personal to bother. They were supposed to be soulmates, at least according to hm, but she still wasn’t so certain that she should interrogate him like that. If it was her, she wouldn’t be a fan. 

She opted for the next question to pop into her head: “So. Will your family be looking for you, if you’ve jumped from one time . . . galaxy to another?” she asked, looking up at him. It afforded her a chance to watch as his expression flashed with something akin to discomfort and horror, and her stomach twisted. Oh, fuck. What was she doing asking about families? Shouldn’t she, of all people, know how sensitive of a subject that was? 

“Sorry,” she cut in before he could respond, her ears burning as she looked down at her coffee cup in embarrassment. Fuck, she was such a damn moron. “That was really rude of me. I didn’t mean to pry--.” 

“It’s fine,” he said, though the tone of his voice clearly meant that it wasn’t. She felt shame well up within her gut, and bit her bottom lip, determined never to bring the topic up again. She really ought to have known better, but there was so little that he’d told her about where he’d come from--. 

There was almost  _ nothing  _ that he’d told her about where he came from, now that she thought back. There was the Force, whatever that was. And the images she’d managed to see in his head. There was his name, and that he knew hers, and those of her friends before having met them. 

However, without knowing even the smallest detail of Ben Solo’s life, there was nothing she could assume or piece together about Kylo’s, and it was intriguing, if not slightly maddening. It didn’t mean she had the right to ask nosey questions, ones that he clearly didn’t feel comfortable answering if his silence was anything to go off of. The subject wasn’t brought up again, even as they returned to her apartment, and she set about making some semblance of lunch. She had the rest of the afternoon off, which was lucky given that she assumed she wasn’t going to have much time for homework in the oncoming week, before she stopped mid-preparation of their lunch of grilled cheese. 

“Kylo, how do you expect to get  _ back  _ to where you came from?” 

He looked up from where he’d taken a seat at her table, having paged through her engineering book without her having realized he’d pulled it from her bag. He smiled. “It’s simple. I’m going to bring you back with me. I came to you on a lunar eclipse in my time, and in a month’s time I overheard others at the cafe saying there would be one happening here. I will use the Force to pull us both through, and then you’ll be able to rule at my side, as it was meant to be.” 

The bread fell from her hand, butter side hitting the cheap linoleum with a thick ‘splat’ that mirrored the very sound her heart made as it dropped into her stomach. 

“Take me . . . back? With you?”

“Yes. I told you, you’re my soulmate.” He stood slowly and stepped towards her, his boots heavy on the floor, and she stared blankly up at him as he sidestepped the dropped food, and set his hands on her shoulders. “You’re my empress, Rey. I won’t be parted from you.” 

She didn’t have the brain function available to consider pulling away as he lowered himself to kiss her, surrendering to the sign of affection without meaning to as her brain struggled to keep up with the expectations leveled at her. 


	5. five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness you are all amazing! Thank you so much for the warm response for the last chapter! I apologize for the delay in updates: it's been a little hectic here, but things are finally starting to slow down. I'm back down to one job for the time being, and with a long freaking list of WIPs and to-dos for writing, I can only promise more material coming! It's all thanks to your wonderful, insanely fantastic feedback. Thank you a thousand times, from the very bottom of my heart. Apologies for the short chapter, but I hope you enjoy the update regardless.   
> You're wonderful, all of you are <3

The sound of someone clearing their throat had Rey snapping back to her senses, as Ben stood in the entrance way of the door, looking for all the world as though the wind had gone out of him. “You left your door unlocked,” he said, voice hoarse as he blinked rapidly. Rey felt her cheeks heat up as she stepped out of Kylo’s embrace, sure that her body must’ve been entirely on fire. 

“I brought more clothes. Figured--well. Can’t wear the same thing every time.” Ben’s glance shifted to Kylo, who met it with a look of superiority that made Rey supremely uncomfortable as the two men stood off against one another. Her mouth went dry as she slowly extricated herself from Kylo’s side in favor of stepping closer to take the clothes, rifling through them slowly to take stock of what she’d need to remember he got back. “Thank you, Ben. That was really thoughtful,” she said, offering him a kind smile as his attention snapped down to her. 

“Yeah, of course.” He gave a nod of his head before the room fell into silence once more, borderline uncomfortable as the two twins kept sneaking glances at one another. Ben was the first to break it with a nervous laugh. “I’m sorry. I just--I don’t understand how this is even possible. How  _ is  _ this happening, really? Where did you come from? I never got an answer.” 

Because how were they supposed to explain it? Explain that somehow, Kylo Ren had materialized in her apartment, said they were soulmates, and that he was from somewhere that, well, shouldn’t have existed? That would go over real well. 

“You’re going to want to take a seat,” Rey said, biting her bottom lip as she touched his elbow gently. She felt some sort of ripple down her spine, some strange sense of discomfort and disbelief, that was gone as quickly as she identified it, but had her looking behind to see Kylo staring openly at the both of them. At where her hand met Ben’s arm. She withdrew her hand and felt some of the tension bleed from the air between the three. Really, now? Ben let loose the air he’d been holding in his lungs, and sat down without another word, as though he’d felt it, too. Rey moved to head into the kitchen, passing by Kylo as she did. She had to pause as he took her hand in his, and kissed the back of it. She stared in shock, her brain struggling to catch up and process just what exactly he was doing. Who he was doing it in front of. 

Her cheeks burned, and she quickly pulled her hand away to disappear behind the wall of her kitchen, struggling to breathe all over again. What in the hell was this guy doing to her? 

She listened for the scraping of chairs on the floor to signify that both men were sitting down before Kylo started to speak. Rey closed her eyes, trying to center herself as best she could to hear his explanation. 

“From what I’ve come to understand there is a precedent for time travel in your culture, in your films, and your literature. I seem to have done that. I traveled from my time to yours through what could only be described as a rip in the galaxy.” Whether he was pausing for effect, or because he was searching for the appropriate words, Rey couldn’t tell. She only knew she was hardly breathing, and the same seemed to go for Ben. “I was brought here because Rey is my soulmate. I plan on asking her to return with me.” 

Rey’s hands clenched on the countertop, her nails digging into the soft wood, her teeth gritting together as she very nearly dropped to her knees in shock. He sounded so damn sure, so positive that she’d go with him, and it dug under her skin to think that he  _ planned  _ on doing such a ridiculous thing. She had friends. She had school. 

She wasn’t going anywhere. He didn’t even have the guts to say such a thing to her  _ face _ , and that perhaps was what made her the most angry. She didn’t seem to have much of a choice, the way he was wording it. The idea was preposterous. 

Ben seemed to be of the same mind as Rey was. She could all but hear the stiffness in his voice. “Does she know about that? Assuming that everything you said wasn’t entirely insane.” 

Kylo’s voice was brittle. “She’ll understand. I know she feels as I do, that she can feel the pull to each other. We’re destined.” 

“You’re positive? How can you be so sure?” There was a creak, likely of Ben leaning back in his seat. Rey fancied herself able to see his disbelief as it played on his face. “You do realize how insane you sound.” 

“Insanity, for us, is far different than your own. She would be an empress in my world. She would sit by my side, on a throne of her own, with the whole galaxy at her feet. What is there not to want?” 

“You?” 

Rey’s eyes snapped towards the dining room. Their voices went gone quiet now, and she hardly trusted herself to breathe. She’s been gone for too long already, and perhaps Kylo realized it because there came the scrape of the a chair against the floor again before his wide frame filled the doorway. His smile was warm, if not perhaps a little forced. It didn’t quite meet his eyes, which searched hers as though hoping to find an answer to shut Ben Solo up. “Let me help you,” he said, stepping closer to take the drinks that she’d very nearly forgotten. She swallowed thickly, nodding, and wishing to be anywhere but there. 

Leave her world with Kylo? Even if it had been more than a day, even if they’d known one another a lifetime--she wasn’t so sure she could ever commit to a choice like that. But, with a man like him, was refusal ever an actual option? She followed wordlessly behind him, her eyes catching Ben’s from across the table, and wishing she didn’t see the worry etched into the lines on his face. She didn’t know what to make of it, to think of the two men with near identical faces, both of which she’d hardly spoken with in her whole time having known them, and now finding out that Kylo wanted her to leave with him? Wanted her to leave her apartment, her cat even? 

Who knew if they could support a cat there? Tears, inexplicable and violent, pushed at the corners of her eyes as the aforementioned animal skirted its way into the kitchen, and she picked him up to press her face against his belly. When she left, wordlessly, for her room, neither of the other men followed after. 

She couldn’t leave. Her whole life was here, and Kylo would have to . . . well, he’d have to figure out a way to go back home alone. Soulmate or not, she had a life here, and she couldn’t just give it up now. 


	6. six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, thank you all a million for the comments! They definitely keep me motivated, and keep me wanting to write for this! I love seeing all of your reactions to the work, the commentary on how the characters interact, and am so grateful that you all enjoy this! Thanks again! I hope you love the update.

Whatever Kylo and Ben spoke about afterwards, Rey had nothing to do with. Homework strewn out across the floor, she played at productivity, at not having heard Kylo’s expectations for what he fully expected to happen. For a short while she even managed to trick herself into thinking that nothing had happened. That she had hallucinated the whole thing, that there was  _ no  _ possible way that anyone would be so convinced that they had to be with another person after one day. That shit happened in Disney movies. In operas and dramas that had nothing to do with real life. Connections and desires such as that weren’t real. They didn’t exist in the harsh reality of her world, and nor would she want them to. 

No, she was just about content with her life. Anything more was a wrench she simply didn’t have time for. 

Kylo knocked quietly on her door after she’d wasted an hour or so paging blindly through her books, searching for answers to a question she couldn’t even remember. She looked up to find him looming in the doorway, and her heart raced as he shot her a small, perhaps even nervous, smile. “Permission to enter?”

She toyed with the idea of telling him no, that he could fuck off back to wherever it was he came from. That she’d heard everything she needed to from his discussion with Ben, and she wanted no part in his plans for her. She thought about telling him to get out of her apartment, that if he couldn’t accept the fact that she was her own person, with her own agenda, then he had no place being anywhere near her. 

It was the look on his face that stopped her, the hopefulness that was almost childlike in its innocence and intensity, the very real desire to be let in. To be welcomed. Didn’t she know what that was like?

With a sigh she shut her book. “Yeah, c’mon in. Have a seat, if you want.” She motioned at her bed, or the lumpy armchair she’d inherited from Finn, having loved it too much that when he’d moved in with Poe she’d begged him not to throw it out. She did all of her reading curled up in that chair, and it was almost comedic to watch Kylo’s enormous body struggle to fit sitting regularly in it. 

He didn’t wait too long to launch into whatever prepared speech he’d come up with. “I know you heard Ben and myself talking.” 

“How?” 

He frowned. “How?” 

“How can you tell?” Rey folded her arms over her chest, head tipping to the side. “What if I said I didn’t have a clue what you were going on about? That I don’t listen when I’m not involved in the conversation?” 

He cracked a smile at that. “I’d tell you that you knew you were involved, and so that’s a moot point. But apart from that, I can tell. I can feel your discomfort around me. Your distaste for the things I said.” 

Well then, if he could  _ feel  _ it, then there was no use denying it. “Yeah. I don’t like it. I don’t like people thinking they own me.” She swallowed thickly, the memory of a house in sunny, dusty, Jakku with a broken aluminum fence and dead, yellowed grass coming to mind. “I don’t like people thinking they can tell me what to do. How my life is going to go.” 

His brow creased, and he sat forward enough to rest his elbows on his knees, staring openly at her. She squirmed out of habit, wishing she didn’t feel as though he was picking her apart at the seams, inspecting what he found there, and trying to sew her back together without her knowing. “Stop that.” 

“Stop what?” 

“Looking at me as though you can see inside my head.” She paused, a horrible thought dawning on her. That his eyes widened was enough to confirm her suspicions. “Oh. Fuck. You can, can’t you? That’s part of your Force. The barista at Starbucks--. No. No no no, that stops  _ now _ .” 

He opened his mouth, sitting up, and paused as he considered what he was going to say. “Very well,” he finally agreed after a moment. “It wasn’t meant to be invasive--.” 

Her laugh was humorless. “Being inside someone’s head is arguably the most invasive thing you could . . . do. Isn’t it?” 

She didn’t want to think too hard on the expression that crossed his face, squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing her temples. God, when did her life get so complicated? He’d not even been there for twenty-four hours, and she was already questioning everything it was she thought she knew about the world. Before that morning, there’d been no such thing as telepathy, the Force, or free coffee by hoodwinking the local barista into forgetting she made them something. There’d been no soulmate or flaming swords or promises of taking her to a new galaxy. There’d been school, work, and her friends. Was it too naive of her to think it could ever go back to just that, now?

“Well,” she started again. “It is for me. So please. Don’t.” 

He gave a nod of his head, leaning back in her chair, his expression nearly unreadable, which she supposed was saying something. He had to be one of the most expressive people she’d ever met, and it’d been something she’d always liked about Ben, and now was mirrored in Kylo Ren. “I will do my utmost to keep from doing so again.” 

She gave a hum of appreciation, sighing and turning to close her book. She wasn’t going to be able to get anything else done tonight, and though the idea of bringing Kylo to class with her so he could read the answers from the inside of the teacher’s head was a tempting one, she wasn’t keen on being a hypocrite. The air between them hung heavy with tension and something that Rey couldn’t put her finger on, couldn’t quite decipher. It made her heart beat all the faster, colored her neck with a flush she couldn’t find the cause of, and forced her to look away from his intense stare. 

“How do you know we’re soulmates?” she asked after the silence became too much to stand, looking up just in time to catch his eyes widening. It was the first time she’d admitted to it, she supposed, and the realization had her breath catching in her throat. “I mean, what if your Force made a mistake? I’m just Rey, I’m no--.”

“You’re not nobody. You’re everything to me,” Kylo cut her off. Rey might’ve been mad if it didn’t make her heart beat harder. 

“I said no mind reading!”

“I wasn’t, I promise.” 

She didn’t believe him, and something in her face must’ve said something if he wasn’t reading her mind, because he sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. He stared off for a moment, expression pensive enough to draw her curiosity. This wasn’t easy for him either, this she knew, but he had to realize how it was for her, too. Just because he thought they were meant to be together didn’t mean she didn’t have plans for her life and things that she wanted, too. 

Rey didn’t push him to speak, letting him parse it out for himself, so that when he did open his mouth to say something she hoped he was ready to explain himself as best he could. “In the galaxy that I come from you and I have already met,” he said after a moment, his eyes finally turning to her, making sure to hold her attention. “I met the Rey in my world, the same way that you met your Ben Solo. We are a mated pair, through space and time and different dimensions. We are meant to be together. My Rey . . . was ripped from me.” She watched as his jaw trembled, his lips redder as he bit the bottom one, then released it. Tears threatened to spill as he looked away and gave a small sniff that had her up and out of her seat before she could realize what she was doing. He looked up at her as she stepped closer, her heart aching to see him cry. “In my anger, and my agony at losing her, I found myself drawn towards you. Your warmth, your light. You pulled me in, Rey. You’re the balm to my soul that I have been looking for, and I cannot be parted from you.” She came to stand between his legs, and his forehead tipped forward to press against her sternum, his shoulders shaking slightly as he sobbed openly. 

“I can’t lose you again,” he rasped after a couple moments. When he looked up his eyes were bloodshot, and tears tracked their way down his face. “Your Ben doesn’t know what he’s without. He doesn’t deserve you. I need you, and I will give you any and everything you want if you’ll just be mine.” 

Rey stared down at him, blinking quickly as her mind struggled to process the information he was finally giving to her, feeling her whole world continue to tilt. Would it ever self regulate, turn itself correctly and restore a semblance of balance and peace to her daily routine? Somehow she doubted it. It didn’t seem likely in the slightest, and her blood chilled at the prospect. 

For lack of something better to do, she stroked Kylo’s cheek. “How did she die?” Rey asked quietly. “Me. Your Rey?” He swallowed thickly again, and she watched indecision flicker over his face. Her brow furrowed. “Don’t lie to me, Kylo.” 

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut to release another wave of tears. “Never. She was shot down in a fire fight. I couldn’t save her, and I wanted to die with her as soon as I felt her life force snuff out.” His long arms wrapped around her waist, tugging her close to him as he clutched her tightly and sobbed. She let him, stroking his hair and running her hand down his back in tandem. Her brain was a mess, struggling to process the information he’d given her, and trying not to wonder whether or not she could trust it. She’d only known him for a matter of hours, but . . . the pull she felt towards him. There was no other explanation, no other reason for it to exist. 

The same for Ben, she supposed. He was meant to be her soulmate, if Kylo’s reasoning was to be believed, and where would that leave him if she went off with Kylo? Certainly, he’d never given her the time of day before. She was pretty sure he’d hated her, truthfully, and if anything this whole debacle with Kylo might’ve solidified that further. 

But to leave her home? Even for true love, she wasn’t so sure she could do that. For now, she contented herself with rubbing Kylo’s back and eventually leading him to bed. He’d never fit on the couch, and as she finished wrapping the blankets around his enormous form she turned to head towards the living room herself. Kylo’s hand on her wrist stopped her mid motion, causing her to turn and look at him. 

“Stay with me,” he rasped, hooded eyes holding hers. “Please.” 

Well. She’d done worse things than falling asleep next to a man she’d only met that morning. 


	7. seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slow down in updates! I'm juggling quite the number of projects at the moment, and I am working on piecing them all together bit by bit. In doing so, it cuts my time down from each piece individually as I work to complete four separate projects at once. Which, granted, is how I tend to like it, but still.   
> Thank you all a million for your support and continued comments--they make writing that much more enjoyable, and I love seeing your reactions and predictions!

The following week was one of the strangest that Rey could ever remember. After Kylo’s confession, he seemed to think that it solidified her decision, that she’d return to whatever time he came from without any sort of fuss, and though he didn’t  _ say  _ anything, she could see it in the way he looked at her. In the way he treated her, as though she was a bad day away from saying yes and disappearing into the galaxy with him. 

Not that, when her bad days came, the idea was tempting. Certainly, every time her boss leered at her, or her mail pinged with a notice of an overdue payment, the thought of erasing it all . . . starting fresh, starting off somewhere else, was an enticing one. Kylo listened to her complain as she came home, content for the time being to wait for her in her apartment and use her laptop, searching the Internet and looking up . . . honestly she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. More about her world, she supposed. She hoped. She’d taken a peek at the screen once, as he was handing it to her so she could work on a paper, and caught half a dozen news sites, and one that was a  _ great deal  _ more adult than that. 

She’d made sure to double and triple check her anti spyware and virus protection programs after that. The last thing she’d needed was a virus because he didn’t know that it was possible to get them while watching porn. And if she’d gone back to check what  _ exactly  _ he enjoyed watching . . . well, call it curiosity. 

She wasn’t sure what worried her more: the sheer breadth of material that he’d watched over, some which she had to turn off, or that he seemed to focus on the softcore material. The hand holding, the slow, gentle making love with extended eye contact. That every video contained a rather larger man, with dark hair, and a smaller woman with brown hair. It might’ve been sweet, if she hadn’t found it ever so slightly creepy. She’d contemplated putting on a safety more than once, but after the third time she’d watched one of the videos he seemingly ended on, and found herself with her hand down her pants on her bed, stifling her cries with a pillow, she’d determined that would be an exceedingly stupid idea. 

Almost, it seemed, as stupid as having Ben over more often. She couldn’t very well keep his twin from him, not when he seemed genuinely interested in the world that Kylo came from, but he’d come over twice already within the week, offering to help cook dinner with Rey in exchange for his presence. Kylo didn’t seem to be taking too kindly to it, and after the second visit his mood grew . . . standoffish, to say the very least. 

It culminated on Saturday night, when Ben invited the two of them out for dinner, and Kylo scowled. “I don’t see any reason to go. Besides, won’t it just cause more confusion with the two of us being present?” It was a shitty lie, one that Rey could see through in a moment, and had her lips twisting into a confused scowl as she tried to eke out exactly what it was that had him on edge. 

Ben rolled his eyes. “How are you going to get to know more about this world if you don’t leave the apartment? You cannot honestly tell me that you’ve learned everything there is to know about earth from the Internet. It lies.” 

“I’m not a child, I understand that,” Kylo spat back, with a fury that had Rey’s chest clenching. What was his deal? “But I had plans for the both of us here. So no, I don’t think we will be joining you out tonight.” 

Rey turned to glower in his direction, unsure where in the hell he’d gotten the idea that he was able to speak for the both of them. “Actually,” she said, her tone biting in the face of Kylo’s own irritation. “Going out sounds great. I could use a break from being cooped up here all day long. I’ve only been to class and back, I think I deserve a break.” She offered Ben a warm smile that he was quick to reciprocate, his eyes flicking over to the direction of his twin. Rey didn’t have to look to know that he would be crestfallen for her to have sided with Ben, but he shouldn’t have tried to speak for her. She didn’t put up with that shit on the best of days, so there was no way in hell she was going to tolerate that now. 

There was silence between the three of them before she heard Kylo sigh. “Where are we going, then?” 

 

The restaurant was a great deal more busy than Rey would’ve thought, given that it was near the outskirts of town, and that it was before 10pm, meaning that most of the bar crowd hadn’t made their way out just yet. Still, the Cabin as it was affectionately called, hosted some of the best pizza in the small college town, and being that it was a weekend, beer was cheaper than it had any right to be. Thank God, Rey thought, because she was going to need it to handle the sharp looks that Kylo and Ben kept shooting at one another. Kylo had taken Rey’s hand as she’d stepped up and into the booth, his gaze warm and affectionate enough that she’d  _ felt  _ Ben bristle even though she was nowhere near him, before Kylo squeezed in beside her. He offered to take her hand again, but she’d busied herself instead at looking at the menu. Soulmates or not, he needed to pump the brakes on the possessive shit. 

She’d be lying to herself if it wasn’t  _ nice  _ to be constantly wanted, to be needed, but in the back of her mind she knew she shouldn’t want that. Anyone normal, with a regular life, with parents who’d been there for them, would’ve found it clingy and repulsive to even consider being so affectionate or needy, but Rey? Well, there would always be some part of her that enjoyed the attention, so long as it remained as harmless as it had been. 

Both she and Ben ordered a beer when the waitress came around, and Kylo puzzled before asking for water. They’d done only a slight bit of experimenting when it came to alcohol, but something about him didn’t strike Rey necessarily as a drinker. Not, perhaps, of cheap domestics at least. 

The awkward, heavy silence between the three of them was broken up only by the karaoke that had just started up, and Rey winced as a particularly out of tune rendition of Alanis Morissette's “You Oughta Know” assaulted her ears. Kylo actually winced when the woman shrieked her way through the chorus, scowling as he looked over in that direction, as though she’d personally offended him. “Is that really the way that the song goes?” 

“No,” Rey muttered. “It’s usually sang much better. With feeling.” 

“Do you have music where you’re from?” Ben interjected before Kylo could respond. Rey watched the man bristle. 

“Yes,” he said shortly. Rey sighed and smoothed out the fabric of her dress slowly. She had a bad feeling about this. “You seem to consider us primitive given that your speeders--.”

“Cars.”

Kylo shot Rey a look, and she shrugged guiltily. “Cars,” he corrected. “Remain on the ground and you have no interplanetary hyper space capacity for your ships.”

“I’m just trying to get to know more about where you come from.”

“You’re doing a shoddy job of it.” 

Rey actually groaned in relief when her beer arrived, drinking deeply and wishing she could focus on the music instead of the two arguing men in front of her. How was it that her life had devolved into this mess of extremes, Kylo constantly running hot while Ben cooled considerably the more they bantered? She could barely stand to look at either of them as they shot snide marks back and forth. 

She snapped just before Kylo could get started up again on the merits of intergalactic unity and nearly shoved her beer at him: “Try this. Stop arguing, drink, and figure out what you’re going to eat. If you two can’t just get along then I’m going home, and you,” she prodded Kylo’s arm. He actually winced. “Can find your own way there, or find somewhere else to stay.” 

He looked cowed, dark eyes hurt at the mere prospect of being shut out, as if he'd never believed her possible of doing so. Rey felt her heart twinge slightly, but internally she resolved to stay firm. He needed to get over this superiority complex that she'd been forced to endure. It wasn't cute. Ben let out a short huff of air, and she rounded on him. “You say you’re trying to learn more about his world but you’re just egging him on. Don’t be a dick about it.” 

“I wasn’t--.” 

“Ben!” 

The name made all three of their heads shoot up, and beside her she felt Kylo start trembling. She turned to look at him, concern deepening her brow, but it wasn’t her that he was focused on. It wasn’t hard to find the source of the name, as a tall, grey-haired man that Rey swore she’d seen before stepped towards them with a bright, almost surprised smile on his face. It faltered ever so slightly at the sight of Kylo, and the man stopped just in front of their table. Kylo, meanwhile, looked as though he’d seen a ghost. 

“Ah, either I’ve been drinking too much, or there’s suddenly two of you,” the man said, looking from Ben to Kylo, his brow deeply furrowed as he struggled to make sense of it. Rey could sympathise. 

“Ah, dad, meet Kylo Ren. It’s . . . a bit of a long story, but you know that website I talked to you about, the one that deals with finding your twin? I found mine.” 

Han’s mouth hung open, and Rey had to fight to keep hers from doing the very same. Holy  _ shit  _ that was quick thinking. She did her best to not look surprised at it, though Kylo was making it very apparent that he’d rather be anywhere but there, his face devoid of any color and his hands sweaty at her side. It wasn’t until Ben was introducing them to Han Solo that she realized just why, as Kylo excused himself to the restroom. She could only imagine his relationship with his own father in his galaxy wasn’t near as good as Ben and Han’s seemed to be. 


	8. eight.

Han took a seat beside then, a frosted glass of his own in hand as he eyed Rey with a sort of puzzled expression that had her cheeks flaming. “Sorry,” he apologized after a moment. “You’re just way too pretty to be out with my son. Or his twin.” 

Ben about coughed on the swig he’d been taking, ears burning as Rey tried to keep herself from snorting. “Oh, ah, thank you.” She thought. “I actually live down the hall from Ben, funny enough. Kylo and I are roommates. We just never realized that the two of them were as, well, similar as they are.” The lie was halved, and therefore far easier than it should’ve been to say, and so she ran with it.

Han laughed almost mirthlessly, as though he himself couldn't believe the supposed truth he was hearing. Almost as if it were too good to be true. “I guess the wonders never cease when you've got endless information at your fingertips. His dad must be really handsome then, too.” His grin was infectious, and Rey couldn't help but laugh at the joke, ignoring the betrayal on Ben's face as he looked at her. 

“I’ve never met him, but when I do I’ll be sure to report back to you.” 

Han nudged Ben’s side with his elbow, his grin spreading all the wider. “I like her.” 

Ben looked about ready to curl up and disappear, groaning in his hands that he really was one of the most unlucky bastards while Rey just laughed. She couldn’t help it. There was a familiar glint in Han’s eye that reminded her of both Kylo and Ben, and made her gut clench at the thought as she realized that it’d been a bit of time since the former had been seated beside her. Han caught her attention by asking her about school moments later, however, and she found herself engaging in conversation easily with him. Easier than perhaps she’d done in a long time. Their food came, and she dug in with an enthusiasm that rarely ever wavered. She blamed the beer that heated her veins, but really she’d never been one to turn down food, let alone balk at her ability to eat. 

It was only when Ben excused himself to the bathroom that she reached out to stop him, feeling the elation leave her as reality hit.  “I need you to find Kylo,” she murmured, gripping his wrist as he walked past her. She wished he wasn’t looking down at her as if he’d do whatever she asked. Even as irritation flitted across his gaze he kept quiet. “Please. He hasn’t been back here for awhile.” 

Ben nodded, and Rey released his wrist, pulling her hand back to her side as her eyes struggled to track his movements through the room. Shit. Maybe she’d had more to drink than she should’ve. It wouldn’t have been the first time at the Cabin, though certainly in present company. Usually Finn had a good idea that he’d be the one driving for them if all three of them made it out, allowing she and Poe to drink and amuse him with their antics. 

More often than not, she woke up with a roaring hangover and missed whatever it was she had planned for the morning. 

She looked up to see Han’s lips moving and felt her cheeks grow red. Shit. “Sorry, what?” 

The impish smile that Han shot her told her he knew all too well what was going on with her. “I asked what you wanted to do with your fancy engineering degree,” he said, leaning back, bottle rising to his lips as he surveyed her, eyes picking her apart and piecing her back together. It was the same sort of disconcerting look that both boys had given her on different occasions, and she hid her disbelief in a sip of her own beer. It was a good question, but not necessarily something she had an answer for. She’d not necessarily been focusing on one particular job at the end of the road when she finished up schooling, but rather stuck with what she knew, and what she did best. Math and science, engineering at its core, had always been of interest and easy to her, the numbers molding themselves into the formulas, equations laying out for her like lovers as the saying went, but what she wanted after that? 

Fuck all if she knew. 

“I’m not entirely sure,” she said after a moment, chewing the inside of her cheek and wishing that her beer held more creative responses than the one she’d been able to come up with. Even if it was the truth, she’d learned the hard way that no one ever wanted to hear it. To admit that she didn’t know what she wanted to do was to admit that she wasn’t just wasting her time and money at university, but that she had no real plan for how to pay it all back afterwards. And that . . . that was a road she didn’t want to travel down. 

Han’s smile was near sympathetic, and it made her heart ache. She’d never had someone look at her, never had an adult, a  _ parent _ , look at her as if they understood. As if she didn’t need to explain herself any more. She drowned her thoughts with another deep swig of beer, eyes lighting up as she caught sight of Ben returning with Kylo at his side. He looked a little green around the gills, and Rey laid her hand on his shoulder when she stood up to greet them. 

“Are you alright?” 

He nodded, though it didn’t feel authentic. “Well enough. I’m sorry for making you worry.” 

She shook her head and wished she didn’t, the world spinning, before turning to notice that both Han and Ben were staring at the two of them. She slid to the inside of the booth this time, allowing Kylo an out if he should need it, and kept her arm and thigh pressed right up against his, hoping to be a sort of anchor. She didn’t have the heart to ask for space, and besides . . . the heat felt nice. 

Around a couple bites of food Kylo murmured his apology to Han. “You’re--excuse me.” He cleared his throat. “You could’ve been mistaken as my own father’s duplicate, and he passed on some years ago. When I saw you, I thought I was seeing a ghost.” 

No one knew what to say if the heavy silence was any indication, Kylo included among them. Rey reached over to take his hand in hers, squeezing his palm as she ran her thumb over his knuckles. No wonder he’d been terrified. Han’s lips were parted as he stared at Kylo, confusion and understanding battling for dominance on his face. It must’ve been a Solo thing, Rey mused, that they were all absolute rubbish at hiding their true emotions. 

“Shit, kid. Kylo. I’m sorry to hear that,” he said after another couple of tense moments passed them by on the wings of horrible karaoke in the background. Rey looked desperately over at the DJ, who was wincing at the obscenely off-key rendition of “My Heart Will Go On,” and cleared her throat to stand up. 

They needed a distraction, and she had just enough alcohol in her to provide them with one. “Right. Well, once this idiot’s done I’m going to go pick a song and--and make a complete idiot out of myself. Han, you coming with me?”

He snorted, turning away from where he’d been staring at Kylo to shake his head. “No way. Ben’s always been a shower singer, though. Sure he’d love to go with you.” 

It was decided then. She reached over, wrapped her fingers around his wrist and squeezed it. “Let’s take a couple shots, Solo, then its you, me, and a couple of microphones.” 

Even Kylo had the decency to laugh at the look of abstract horror that passed over Ben’s features, and readily made way to let Rey out of the booth so that she could go and put their names forward, flipping through the song listings to find the perfect mood lifter. 

When Ben returned with a couple shots of vodka, to help “get him in the mood,” Rey just grinned and reached out her hand to take the small glass from his fingers. She looked back up and felt her heart stammer to see him staring so intently at her it made her bones ache and her toes curl. They maintained eye contact as they each lifted the glass to their lips, Rey only looking away to grimace as the vodka left fire in its wake as it slid down her throat, leaving a far more pleasant burn in her gut. 

When the trainwreck that came before them finally came to a screeching, wavering finish, Rey all but bounded up onto the stage to tell the DJ her and Ben’s song, snagging the extra microphone and tossing it to him. He caught it to her amazement, and as the first notes of “Unbreak My Heart” filtered through the bar, and the screen lit up with the upcoming lyrics, she couldn’t help but seek out Kylo’s gaze in the crowd. He looked to be conversing with Han, only pulling away to stare at the stage as the song began. 

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be the first to admit that this is not my favorite chapter. I struggled hardcore with writing this, loving that I was bringing Han in and yet having no clue as to how to actually incorporate him into the action, not having originally planned this to include him. What seemed like a perfect addition morphed into something of a personal nightmare as I stared blankly at this doc until I finally put my big girl pants on and wrote it. I find this update to be choppy, and slow, but necessary all the same. I apologize for the wait, and hope you can forgive this shoddy update on the wings that hey--at least it's story progression. Thank you all so much for sticking it out with me through the mini-hiatus. You're all absolutely wonderful. 
> 
> Also, this is, I think, the longest I've gone in a story--chapter wise--without some smut. I don't even know who I am anymore. Yikes. 
> 
> That being said, I've started on the next ch. and it's gonna change that streak xD but still!


	9. nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP. This is officially the longest chapter thus far, and ya'll know why. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support: it's been absolutely surreal getting to write this for you. I'm working on figuring the ending out, the ramifications of decisions that're going to get us there, and how in the hell I'm going to get all this done within the next couple weeks or so hahaha. 
> 
> Thanks again, and I hope you absolutely love this update! It was a blast to write.

She and Ben went up for two more rounds of karaoke before the night was done, the pair alternating between who got to pick the songs, and who bought the shots to get them up there, though Ben would deftly out maneuver her for paying every time. Han left the three of them sometime around one in the morning, the bar starting to clear out as Rey leaned her head on Kylo’s shoulder and nuzzled a little closer. If he minded he didn’t say anything, and she felt his arm reach over to wrap around her waist just as she caught the jealousy in Ben’s gaze. The heat of it made her toes curl, and the three shots of vodka and two beers were telling her that there was only solution to dealing with two jealous boys. Her cheeks burned and she turned her head to bury it in Kylo’s shoulder, shivering to feel his warm breath against the side of her face as he leaned in to murmur: “Shall we go home?” 

“Would probably be a good idea,” she admitted, pulling away to look up at him, and stopping short of practically kissing him, their faces were so close. Her breath caught in her throat as he stared as if he’d never seen something--someone--so beautiful, and her eyes followed his tongue as it dragged across his full bottom lip.  

Realizing that they’d stayed silent for far too long, she cleared her throat and pulled away, turning to Ben. “Are you good to go? We should head home--all of us. Before they close up around us, I mean.” 

Ben nodded, taking his mug of beer and chugging the rest of it, before he set it back on the table. Rey’d already polished hers off, and blamed that on why she was smiling so much as she took Kylo by the hand and led him to the door, grabbing Ben by the other so that she wouldn’t get separated from him, either. Outside was far warmer than Rey had imagined it to be, and so she kept her jacket tied around her waist so as not to lose it, her fingers threaded with either of the boys. She wasn’t quite ready to let them go, not when doing so might mean she’d fall over, and if she fell over she wasn’t confident she’d get back up again. No, that was better saved for home, falling into her warm bed. An image of the three of them, curled up around one another, with Rey smack dab in the middle, stole into her mind’s eye, and she knew her cheeks and ears were burning by Kylo’s interested hum on her left side. 

“What is it?” he asked, leaning in closer. She could feel something heavy in her head, an itch that she could in no way scratch, as if it was coming from the folds of her vodka-addled brain, and shook her head to try and be rid of it. 

“Nothing,” she said with a wide grin as she looked at him, watching as he searched her eyes for the truth. He didn’t push the matter if he didn’t believe her, and she wasn’t going to force him to question it. 

 

BB had curled into a small ball on the couch by the time they’d gotten back, the tabby blinking blearily as Rey cooed and nearly tripped over herself to reach her pet, raining soft kisses down her cat’s face, neck, and rotund belly as Ben and Kylo stood in the doorway. She could feel their eyes watching her, and looked back up, blinking slowly to see them standing so close together, so similar and yet so different. No matter what Ben brought over, Kylo continued to gravitate towards the black or dark grey articles of clothing, an almost literal doppelganger to her neighbor. 

That same thought raced through her mind again, of the three of them entwined, and rather than flush and look away, she considered the possibility. It wouldn’t be difficult to convince Kylo, she thought. Ben . . . she was amazed he’d tolerated her for so long. She didn’t think she’d be able to work up the courage to ask him any other time, however, and so stood up slowly to slip her hands over her dress in an attempt to smooth it. Her jacket she undid and set on the side of the couch. 

Without much of a plan, Rey felt her lips starting to move. Something inside of her must’ve known what it was doing, she hoped. “So. If I was to say that I wanted to fuck the both of you at the same time, would you two be down?” 

  
  


Had she thought about it more, she’d have pulled out her camera to take a picture of their shocked, completely taken off guard faces, to immortalize how hilarious it was to see the exact same expression staring back at her from two different people. As it was, she had to focus on stepping closer, smiling and not stopping until she’d ended up just in front of them. Her eyes flickered from Kylo, to Ben, then back again as her confidence started to waver at their silence. “I mean--if you don’t want to I’m oka--.” 

“No,” they spoke at the same time, looking at one another and flushing. 

Rey grinned. Somehow, she hadn’t thought that their desire wasn’t going to be the issue. “Right. Well, I promise I won’t make you two do anything to each other--I just. I like you both, and right now I want you both inside of me. Preferably at the same time, so that I can’t be accused of playing favorites.” She brought one hand to Kylo’s chest, rubbing the scant space between his pecs, before looking to Ben and danced the fingers of her other hand across his shoulders, causing him to shiver. She wet her lips, the tension making her body practically tremble, as she stared from one to the other, hoping that she hadn’t overstepped some sort of precarious, wordless boundary between the three of them. She’d just received confirmation of their interest in her, but the inclusion of the both of them in the equation, she hoped, wasn’t a deal breaker. 

Oh god, what if it was? What if she’d just made an enormous mistake? Sure Ben might forgive her for it, given that he could leave whenever he wanted and refuse to come back if he so desired, but Kylo lived with her for the time being. Things were just starting to normalize. What if she’d just jeopardized the whole thing? What if she’d only just alienated them further from one another, because she’d tried to be inclusive? Because she, honestly, wanted both of them in their own ways, and the beer was making a threesome sound like  _ the best  _ idea ever. 

She’d been so caught up in her own thoughts that she’d hardly noticed the way they turned to one another, sharing the same look between them, before Kylo surged forward to kiss her. His lips were soft, warm against hers, and Rey gasped as she felt herself be pulled into his arms, only for Ben to come around on the other side and kiss his way down her throat, teeth and tongue teasing the sensitive skin of her neck. A moan rippled its way from the base of her spine up past her lips, opening her up and allowing Kylo to deepen the kiss as she felt fingers begin to work on the zipper of her jeans in front of her, while another pair of hands worked their way up the hem of her shirt. She let them undress her piece by piece, long fingers working their way to divest her of pants, shirt, panties, and bra, until she shivered from the heat of their bodies pressed on either side of her. She’d turned to face Ben now, her cheeks warm, lips swollen from kissing the both of them, before she managed to shimmy out of their grip. With a confidence whose source she couldn’t trace, she grinned and sauntered back towards her bedroom, towards the familiar warmth of her bed and the near dark that she’d find there. The pair of boys bounded after her, stripping themselves of shirts, pants, and boxers until all that was left was a trail leading up just before her door, and she was pressed up between the both of them again. Rey leaned over to the bedside table to flick on the lamp nearest them, before turning to stare openly at the twins. Though they were identical in build, the differences were enough to make her pause, chiefest among them the bolt in Ben’s cock, and the bars in his nipples in matching silver that made her mouth water, and the sprawling tattoos that covered his pecs and back. Kylo was a masterpiece of scars and muscle, as though he’d been cut from marble itself as he stood with his hands on his hips, as if he couldn’t be prouder of his body. 

Breathing was difficult, Rey was quickly finding, as her mind tripped over just what she wanted to do with the both of them. “Uh, come here, both of you,” she beckoned, amazed to see that they followed without hesitation. She’d expected some sort of kick back, of a resilience in Kylo at least at being told what to do, but he eased his way onto the bed behind her when she asked him to, lips teasing the back of her neck and the beginning of her spine. He pulled her back and against him, his cock hot and heavy against the seam of her ass, and turned her head just so, his lips devouring hers again. Ben’s mouth descended on her left breast, teeth dragging against the tight, sensitive bud, and her hips bucked forward, then ground back against Kylo. Fire kindled in her belly, stoked further by the way that Ben was dragging the flat of his tongue against her nipple, managing to fit the whole of her breast in his mouth, as Kylo reached down between her spread legs to play with her clit, rubbing it in slow, teasing circles. They were picking her apart at the seams, pulling her into madness and euphoria all at once, and the high that she’d felt from drinking was nothing in comparison to the weightless sensation of her limbs, of her body, as the two men devoured her whole. 

She pulled away from Kylo’s mouth to gasp for air, one hand buried in Ben’s soft curls, the other reaching back to play with Kylo’s cock, palming the thick head, before wrapping her fingers around his girth and giving an experimental tug. He groaned, precome dribbling down the tip and against her fingers as one of his fingers entered her, then a second. Ben switched to her right breast, staring up at her through his eyelashes and grinning as she keened and shook. 

“Condom?” he asked after pulling away from her breast with a lewd pop, lips shining with saliva. 

She shook her head. “‘M clean,” she just managed to say. “Birth control shot. I’ve got another couple months before it wears off,  _ oh _ .” 

Ben’s grin widened. “So. Does that mean I can come inside you?” 

There came an inhuman growl from behind them, and the bite that Kylo left on Rey’s right shoulder was enough to tell her he wasn’t too happy with the idea. Rey’s grip on his dick tightened, and he loosened up. “Means you both can,” she said, all too cheerfully. So what if she had a thing for being filled to the brim, then being creampied? She had preferences, too!--and the thought of being stuffed to the brim, and leaking with their spend was enough to make her practically gush on Kylo’s fingers. 

Enough foreplay. She directed Ben up and onto his back on her bed, allowing her to straddle him as Kylo watched with his hand lazily working his cock, his eyes sharp as he watched Rey line herself up. There was a pause, a breath she had to take as her hands steadied her, spread out on his chest. She’d teased his nipples the same as he’d done hers, tongue rolling the buds over as she’d rocked her hips against his, but she needed more. Needed a new friction, needed to be  _ full  _ to the brim of both of them, and it wasn’t as if she was getting any younger. 

Hot, and with both of them staring at her, she gripped him by the base and slid her way down his length, hissing at the tightness and the chill of the piercing against her walls. He was curved, almost perfectly so, so once she’d seated herself entirely atop him the head of his cock pressed right against that deep stretch of spongy nerve endings that she’d only ever found with a toy. Her back arched, air caught in her lungs, as she felt Kylo move behind her to press one slicked up finger against her ass, teasing the tight entrance with the tip of his index finger. He was still wet from having fingered her, and she whimpered as she looked back at him, struggling to relax, and wanting to clamp down all the tighter around Ben at the same time. 

“If you want to take both of us, dear one, you’ll need to relax,” Kylo murmured in her ear, Ben staring reverently up at the pair of them. His hands moved to her hips, digging long bruises against the skin as he forced himself to stay still. Rey wished she had the same discipline, leaning forward against his chest and rocking back against the pair of them, a needy whine leaving her lips as she buried her face in Ben’s chest when Kylo slid his whole finger inside of her. She curled her legs up and in between Ben’s, allowing him to cage them in with his own powerful thighs, before he started shifting his hips upwards, matching the slow rocking that Kylo began. 

It was too much, it wasn’t enough. She needed more, and she needed to  _ come  _ right then and there, yet her body was in overdrive from all the sensation and pleasure. Never before had she felt this good, never before had she thought to be so full, but knowing that there was even more to come was even more terrifying and wonderful at the same time. 

Something slick and chilled oozed down around Rey’s ass, causing her to gasp as she saw Kylo drizzling lube against her skin. If she’d been in her right frame of mind she might’ve berated him for showing his . . . abilities off in front of Ben. Not that the latter was focusing on anything else aside from Rey. His mouth had latched around her right breast, tongue flicking her nipple as he sucked and rocked in time with his twin. Unperturbed, Kylo pressed a second finger inside of Rey’s opening, scissoring her open further, and the thought of him displaying his powers was lost on her. What did it matter when he felt so good? She was rocking back and against him in earnest now, grinding down on Ben with every movement, setting the head of Ben’s cock harder against her gspot. He met her thrust for thrust, picking up speed as Kylo’s movements began to border on desperate, as eager to be inside of Rey as she as to have him there. It was as though she could feel his anticipation, taste it on the tip of her tongue as he pulled his newly soaked three fingers from her, and slid the first couple inches of his cock inside of her. He was definitely thicker than Ben, and the stretch brought tears to her eyes. Fuck, she'd never done this before, and her toes curled as she bent her head forward, forcing herself to breathe slowly through her nose. 

Ben pulled away and cooed in her ear, stroking her back gently. “Oh fuck. Oh, good god, you’re so tight around us both. You feel so good. You like being stuffed?” He tucked a couple strands of hair behind her ears before he leaned up onto his elbows. His mouth latched around her left breast this time, sucking slowly, dragging his tongue over her nipple as he stared up at her. If he was trying to get her to relax, it was working. She felt her body start to loosen, heard Kylo choke as she felt him slip another inch or so deeper into her, stopping only when his pelvic bone pressed up against her ass. 

It was as though stars had erupted behind Rey’s eyes, leaving her blinking tears away as she fisted her hands in the bedding beneath them. She felt stuffed to the very brim, fuller than she’d ever been in her whole life. Sex with either one of them would’ve been enough to satisfy her, but the pair at the same time? One of her better, and worst, ideas she’d ever had. 

“Rey?” Ben asked in a voice that sounded far away. “You’ve gotta breathe, sweetheart. C’mon. Deep breaths.” He stroked her back again, kissing his way up her shoulder as Rey took a deep, shuddering gasp of a breath, one that left her choking on oxygen as Kylo slid out of her, then pressed back in. Both she and Ben groaned, the two men separated only by a thin stretch of skin, and the thought made Rey’s stomach flip with excitement. Gritting her teeth, she ground backwards, determined to take them both in as deep as she could, and felt a thrill of victory race up her spine as the movement brought a deep, satisfied groan from both men. She sat up, wrapping one arm behind her and around Kylo’s neck as she started to roll her hips in a slow, tantalizing beat that sent fire licking up her spine. His enormous hands found her breasts, slick with Ben’s saliva, and teased her nipples into hard, ultra-sensitive peaks. A flush eased up her chest, and Ben chased the flush that crept up her body with his lips. His hips jerked upwards just as Kylo pulled out, the both of them starting to alternate between fucking into her and pulling out so that she never once felt empty. On the rare moments that they were both deep inside of her at once, Rey swore her world was collapsing in on itself, exploding into supernova before her eyes as her first orgasm slammed into her with all the force of a derailed freight train. Her screams echoed in her room, her nails dug into Ben’s chest as he gripped her hips and ground her down on his cock as she tightened up around him and nearly slammed the top of her head against Kylo’s nose as she threw her head back. 

It did anything but slow them down, spurring them both further on as her body trembled and struggled to take in what had just happened, the pair working her through her aftershocks as they pumped into her body. Together their combined thickness and length was nearly too long, her body trembling and struggling to remain upright. Kylo had to wrap an arm around her waist to keep her there, breath becoming difficult to consistently get, and when he leaned in to suck on her earlobe she swore she’d never breathe normally again. 

“You feel so good when you gush around our cocks,” he purred in her ear, Ben’s eyes hot as he watched them intently. Kylo just grinned and licked a slow stripe up her throat. “You’re so tight, so sweet for us. You like being stuffed full, like having your cunt and your ass fucked at the same time? Does that metal piercing he have feel as amazing as you’d hoped?” 

She nodded, unable to help herself as she reached behind to scratch at his waist, desperate for something to cling to as she started to careen back towards her second climax, squeezing her ass around his cock. He groaned, and slammed into her harder, pointedly snapping his hips harder against her ass until she was sure she’d have bruises. “You’re so tight, sweet girl. Gonna come inside you, gonna fill up your ass as Ben fills your sweet little cunt. You’re gonna drip with the both of our spend--oh  _ fuck _ . You like that idea, sweetheart?” 

She whimpered, reaching down to rub at her clit, unable to help herself at the image of her body absolutely dripping with their come, making a mess of the three of them. She’d never be this full again, never be this satisfied--. There would be no coming back from this, and as she dragged them both down with hre second orgasm, cunt too tight and hot to resist, she knew she’d never be happy without the two of them again. 

She wished it made her feel better as she came down from her climax, thinking to herself as she took turns kissing them both slowly, how fucked she truly was. 


	10. ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thank you a thousand times over for sticking with me and being so patient while I work on updating! You guys are the absolute best readers I could've ever asked for, and I'm so thankful to have each and every one of you. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and lemme know what you think! Your comments keep me inspired and keep me writing.

Sometime in the night she felt her too small bed dip, felt heat exchange from one side to the next, and she burrowed further into the warmth of the body in front of her, determined to stay asleep a little longer. She swore she felt lips drag against her ear, a hushed “I love you” in a voice that was too similar to tell who it belonged to, and then the press of another body on the other side of her. As though outside of her body, she knew she smiled rather than felt it, and allowed herself to drag deeper into the void of the night. Exhaustion claimed all thought, all recognition of sensation outside of the heat she so desperately clung to, and she knew no more. 

 

The next morning, she thought, was going to be an awkward one. Granted, she only had a handful of one night stands to draw her memories from, but none of them had been at her own apartment. Not to mention, none of them had ever been like  _ that _ . Rey had had the anticipation of waking up to an empty bed, to cold sheets and a mess of cooled come and soreness between her legs as her only companions. While the soreness made her moan to move, the arm around her waist told her that she at least wasn’t alone. The scent of cooking bacon, eggs, and toast only solidified that she wasn’t abandoned and left in her apartment. Her eyes fluttered open, looking over to where Kylo had wrapped himself around her, his own eyes opening slowly as she began to move in his arms. He was warm, and solid, and as he pressed his lips to her cheek she felt her stomach twist with anticipation and pleasure. There was a strange sense of connection between their bodies, more than just the feel of his cock against her thighs, already hard and ready to sink into her. Biting her bottom lip, she shifted her hips and threw one of her legs over his, easily sliding him inside of her and relishing the surprised gasp that echoed in the space between them. She was still so wet from the previous night, and he filled her with such effortlessness that it was astounding to her that they’d waited as long as they had. 

“Oh, Rey,” he moaned in her ear. His hips moved slowly, languid, as though they had all the time in the world to do this. As if it were the most natural to be joined so, to start off the day in one another’s arms like they were. She gave a low whimper, finding his rhythm with ease and trying to push him to go a little faster. She’d rock her hips against his, trying to goad him into going faster, or harder, but he simply took his time, working into her all the slower if anything as she whined and sought more stimulation. 

“Easy, pet,” he purred, sucking a low bruise on her throat when she practically sobbed at how slow he was moving. She needed  _ more _ , needed extra stimulation or needed him to move faster--needed to be filled again, needed to chase that constant contact and attention that she’d always been looking for--. 

He reached one hand between her legs, pointer and middle finger easing against her clit in a torturous, slow and steady circle, while his other free hand massaged her breasts, teasing her nipples and dragging his dull nails against the sensitive undersides. It was all she could do to not writhe in his grip, the extra stimulation making her mind race as he worked her like a finely tuned instrument. How was it that they’d only been together just hours before, and already he was so comfortable, so attuned, to her? To her body? Her orgasm dragged its way up her spine, raking its claws down her back as her body writhed and her hips bucked of their own accord, mouth falling open as her eyes closed and she surrendered herself to the pleasure and sensation that came with. All the while, Kylo kissed every inch of her he could, whispering praises against her skin, until he came shortly afterwards with a sharp thrust of his hips. She couldn’t have been any happier about the IUD she’d gotten a year ago, whimpering as she brought her leg closer to tighten up the feeling of him inside of her, how full he made her. 

“You are outstanding, do you know that?” he purred in her ear, licking a slow stripe just behind it that made her shiver. 

Before she could answer Ben called from just outside the room: “God, it already reeks of sex, you two. Do you really have to add to it?” 

 

A couple of hasty moments later found Rey dressed in an oversized shirt and pair of shorts, practically inhaling the overeasy eggs, toast, and bacon that Ben had made for the three of them. She’d worked up a hell of an appetite last night, who could blame her for wanting to fuel back up on carbs after all that work? That was saying nothing of that morning, too. She’d more than earned it, and neither of the men commented if they found it less than attractive. 

Not that she gave a shit if they did. 

“So, Kylo,” Ben started after a moment, prompting Rey to slow down if only slightly as she waited to see what it was he’d bring up this time. “What did happen to your parents?” 

Any sort of warmth was sucked from the room, leaving Rey to actually shiver in the chill that settled in its absence. She stared at Ben, wondering how it was that he was so ballsy to bring that up so early in the morning, when they’d only just woken up. Kylo’s gaze was hard and directly firmly at his twin, his jaw tight in a grimace that had Rey reaching out to take his hand in her own. The move wasn’t missed by Ben, whose eyes flickered to look at where they were conjoined, before he looked back up to meet Kylo’s stare. 

“They’re both death,” he said softly. “My mother I couldn’t save. Old age took her. My father met his fate still believing in miracles.” 

Rey felt her heart ache, and she squeezed his hand, but that wasn’t enough for Ben. “I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I’d be devastated if I lost Leia,” he said, and Kylo’s face twitched with a sort of raw pain that Rey hadn’t seen on him before. “But your dad met his fate? What the hell does that even mean?” 

There was a hardness to his voice that tipped Rey off, and her back straightened ever so slightly. What did he know that the rest of them didn’t? Or rather,  _ she  _ didn’t, and that Kylo was actively hiding? Ben’s head was cocked to the side, his gaze narrowed in such a way that made him look far older than he ought to. 

“I don’t want to talk about it. Surely you can understand why.” Kylo’s words were clipped, his tone borderline defensive, and the ice in his glass of water started to clink of its own accord. 

“Is that why you were saying you were sorry to Han in your sleep?” Ben pressed, sitting up and resting his elbows on the table. “Pleading with him. Saying it was your fault. What’s that about?” 

Kylo’s jaw clenched, and now his silverware began to rattle ever so slightly. Rey squeezed his hand tighter, but gasped when his returning grip nearly made her lose feeling in her fingers. “Kylo,” she hissed. “Loosen up. You’re hurting me.” 

He looked over at her and she felt her heart near drop out of her chest at the way his eyes seemed yellow for the briefest of moments, like the warmth had been nearly sucked out and replaced with something far colder. Far worse than before. Still, he relaxed, and the difference was gone in a half a heartbeat. He blinked rapidly, and looked back to Ben. 

“Are you telling me you’ve never had a nightmare about losing your parents before?” he asked dryly. “How fortunate for you. I’d do anything to have my father back with me. Seeing your own, the spitting image of mine before his death, must have triggered my brain into fabricating a nightmare. I can’t remember it now.” 

Ben’s look said that he didn’t believe him, but Rey’s own glare and pointed kick under the table stopped him before he could say anything else. “That’s enough of that,” she muttered. “I’m going to shower, and you two need to stop having some ridiculous pissing contest every time you’re anywhere near one another. I’d have thought last night would’ve done something towards making a difference. Silly of me.” 

Ben’s brow furrowed, his words drowning out Kylo’s offer to join Rey. “Rey--I don’t think you’re being fair.” 

“I’m plenty fair,” she growled. “And I’m done with this conversation right now.” She didn’t allow him to say anything else on the matter, turning instead to head out of the room and back towards her bathroom. Honestly. What the hell would it take for them to both stop chomping at the bit to get at one another? 

 

By the time she’d gotten back out of the shower, towel dried off her hair, and dressed herself once more, Ben had disappeared back to his own apartment, leaving Kylo to browse the Internet on Rey’s computer. Already, she could hear the moans filtering from the tiny speakers and couldn’t help but laugh quietly at the ridiculousness of it all, of how surreal this situation was. She had a man who’d traveled interdimensionally, who’d come from a supposed different galaxy altogether, and there he was looking up porn. Threesome porn, given the number of different sounding moans. 

Maybe more than that, now that she really listened. 

“Find anything you like?” she asked as she stepped into the room, causing Kylo to blush deeply and slam the computer shut. The moans didn’t stop immediately, a forced “Oh Daddy  _ yes _ ,” echoing in the silence between them before her computer finally shut off. Rey had to force herself not to cackle at how his ears burned red and his eyes could hardly meet hers. 

“I was just checking that what we did last night, that it didn’t have any negative social ramifications, given that you were with both of us at the same time.” He sounded as if he believed it, which she supposed was half the battle. Too bad he was a terrible liar. His face, and Ben’s too she realized, was too expressive to hide anything from her. 

Rey felt the corner of her mouth turn up. “And dirty movies will help with that?” 

“They show me that it’s not at least not unheard of.” He looked sheepishly over at her laptop. “I shouldn’t be using your Internet for such foolish things, though.” 

Rey shrugged as she moved closer, picking up the old Asus and flipping it back upwards. Her face wrinkled with disgust at the video he’d chosen. Really? The women were terrible actresses, and the man looked like a penis himself, all slick and veiny. Plopping down at Kylo’s side, she let him wrap an arm around her shoulders as she tapped in a new search on the bar at the top, scrolling until she found the perfect video. Her mouth had gone a little dry, admittedly, and she nestled a little closer to where he sat as it began to start on a trio kissing, two men and one woman. They were slow about it, gentle, taking their time with plenty of tongue slipped between the three of them, hands caressing each other’s bodies as they removed one another of clothes, then leaned back into bed together. Kylo stiffened at her side, his breathing slow, as he leaned forward to watch more intently how it was that they worked together. 

“This is the type of good dirty video you need,” Rey only half teased, curled closer to him than she might’ve been twenty four hours ago. “Not any of that fake shit. Don’t you have dirty vids in your time?” 

He nodded, gaze moving from Rey to the screen, then back. “We do. They’re less video, more holograph. They’re not all that common, but we have them.” 

Ah, well perhaps that was what interested him in the videos they had, not that she thought any of the plots were remotely interesting. Still, if there was one thing they had plenty of on this planet it was porn. “Do you miss it, your time?” she asked softly. 

He didn’t answer immediately, and maybe she was glad of that. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to go back, truth be told. Sure, he was aggravating. Certainly he was a handful with his abilities and what not. Absolutely he was hot headed, aggressive, and far too possessive given the time frame that they’d met--regardless of what he thought, she was her very own person. Still, he looked at her like no one else had before, and if she was being fair . . . she wasn’t ready to let that go. 

Sure, it was selfish as all hell, but it was the truth. 

“I don’t miss it when I’m here with you,” he said after a moment, moving the laptop off to the side so he could kiss her slowly. She let him, her body melting against his like hot butter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're following "keep on getting closer" IT'S A DOUBLE UPDATE DAY! As a thank you for sticking around while I've been working. I really appreciate it, everyone.


	11. eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, you all kill me with your sweet comments. Thank you a thousand times over for helping motivate me to write this chapter, and all of my works on the whole. I'd be nowhere without you.

She snuck out of the apartment when Kylo was taking his shower to knock on the door to Ben’s apartment, her arms crossed over her chest as she waited as patiently as she could for him to answer. A decade later, the door opened to reveal a very messy haired Ben, who blinked owlishly as he stared down at her. “What’s up?” 

“I want to set up a time for Kylo to meet with your parents. Please.” 

A mix of shock and concern played over his features, contorting them almost comically as he considered it, and she struggled not to smile too broadly at how near predictable he was. He might’ve been a prick that morning, but he was a good guy deep down. Even if he hadn’t hardly spoken with her before all of this, he’d been remarkably quick to turn his attitude towards her around when it came down to the thick of it. 

“Is this him asking, or you?”

“Does it make a difference?” 

“Yes.” 

She arched a brow and shifted her head to the side. “Why?”

He breathed slowly through his nose, eyes closing for a moment before opening again, as though he was exasperated with her. She couldn’t understand why. “You saw how he reacted to Han, you really want to scare him shitless and introduce him to my mother? After he got choked up at explaining that she died?” 

He had a point, but Rey nodded. “I think it’d be good for him.”

Ben’s eyes darkened. “I don’t. I think you’re trying to convince him to stay here.” 

She felt her face heat up before she even had time to realize that she’d been found out, caught in her own game of questions. Fuck. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, eyes going just past Ben towards the inside of his apartment, not having seen it before. He seemed to get the picture and stepped past the door, waving her inside after him. 

Kylo would be fine without her for a little while. 

 

Rey wasn’t so sure what she was expecting of Ben’s apartment, only that it was . . . organized chaos. There were stacks of books on nearly every flat surface, accompanied by papers and printouts, journals it looked like for research papers. The closer she looked, however, she could read that he was researching the possibilities of extra dimensions, of time travel, and she noticed the taped decimals on the backs of the books as belonging to the school library. 

“You’re looking him up,” she murmured after she took a seat on the small loveseat that occupied his living room, her eyes finding his as he shuffled a few things aide so he could sit opposite her. 

“Yes. I want to know how it is he got here. And how he’ll be getting back. He doesn’t belong here, Rey, and I don’t think he’s as good of a guy as you want to believe he is.” 

Her lips pressed together in a thin line. Really, now? Who was saying that she thought he was a good guy? “Okay. I mean, I’m not saying he’s perfect by any stretch of the imagination--.” 

“The night we all fell into bed together he was crying for Han,” Ben said, cutting her off, forcing Rey to grit her teeth in irritation. “I’m not talking grief crying because he missed him. It sounded as though  _ he’d  _ been the one to kill him. That he was begging for forgiveness. Absolution. And the look on his face when he saw Han wasn’t of surprise or awe--it was fear. You wouldn’t be  _ afraid  _ of seeing your father’s ghost if you weren’t the one who had something to do with it.” 

“Unless you’re afraid of ghosts. Or afraid of him,” she countered, making Ben huff. “You’re going to need a lot more concrete evidence than that, Solo.” 

His face twitched ever so slightly as she used his last name. “Have you noticed that he doesn’t talk about what happened to the Rey in his time, besides that he lost her? It’s the same vague speech that he uses when he’s talking about his father.”

Ah, that she knew. Why hadn’t he been told? “His Rey died in a firefight,” she said when Ben had gone quiet. “She was killed when she was away from him.”

He frowned. “By who?”

Rey shrugged. She hadn’t thought to ask that, still wasn’t sure she wanted to know truthfully. “I saw him and his Rey. When he first came to me, and I couldn’t believe what he was saying about time travel and soulmates and all . . . all that. He showed me, clear as day. They were close. They were fighting back to back, like something out of a movie.” 

Ben’s bewildered expression had her reaching for his hand. As soon as their skin touched she swore she felt something ripple up her spine, Ben’s eyes fluttering shut a moment before opening to stare at her again. There it was again, that strange, inexplicable pull she felt towards Kylo, mirrored back in the man in front of her. Again, she thought about the possibility of other Reys, other Bens, all living without knowledge of one another, all pulled to each other. If she was to leave with Kylo, what would she be forcing Ben to live without? Would his grief emulate Kylo’s, and repeat the cycle over again only on an unsuspecting other version of her? Her head hurt. 

“Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but--but I don’t have long before he’s supposed to go back to his galaxy. He said the lunar eclipse, that’s only a couple weeks away now. If he had that sort of . . . cathartic or emotional reaction to seeing Han, it might do him some good to see your mother as well. Please, Ben.” Was it too much to ask that she wanted them both? Was she too spoiled to want to keep them at her side? Surely she couldn’t be begrudged one nice thing in her life. Surely she wouldn’t have to be ripped from either of them.

Ben brought her knuckles up to his lips and kissed them slowly, his eyes shutting once more, causing Rey’s lips to part as her breathing slowed. “I don’t want you to go with him. I don’t think it’s safe. I . . . I don’t want to lose you, now that I’ve come to know you.” 

That made for two of them. She leaned closer, rising to her knees so that she could lean over him and press her lips to his, kissing him slowly as he lifted her up and onto his lap. It was slow, unhurried between them as they kissed for what felt like the first time, neither pressured by the presence of a third even if it loomed overhead for them both. That was a decision Rey wasn’t comfortable making, might not ever be, and she’d be damned if she was made to do so before she was good and ready. 


	12. twelve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay update! Thank you guys so much for all of your continued support, for your comments that help to get me through the struggles of writing and balancing multiple stories at once (though, let's be real:I wouldn't have it any other way). It means so much to me to see your thoughts on my works, and that you're still sticking around despite the lull in updates is amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

True to Ben’s word, he arranged for a dinner at his parents house the next weekend, giving Rey plenty of time to prepare Kylo for what was going to happen. He’d been resistant at first, defiant even, that he wanted nothing to do with  _ Ben’s _ parents, that he had no interest in meeting them and why should Rey when they were going to be leaving in a little over a week? That had prompted a fight he hadn’t been ready for, and had done everything in his power to apologize for and make her forget after she’d yelled loud enough that the whole apartment seemed to vibrate with energy. 

She tried not to think too hard about  _ that  _ part, even as he’d snuck glances her way when he’d righted a chair she’d somehow knocked over from across the room with her voice. One step at a time. She could only handle this one step at a time. 

All three of them drove together to get to Leia and Han’s house, Rey seated in the back with Kylo at her side, his hand firmly in hers as he squeezed and rubbed the back with his thumb, his whole body in tight lines that she knew weren’t going to relax any time soon. It wouldn’t be long before they had a reaction one way or another, and while she was anticipating this going poorly--because it was better to be prepared for the absolute worst to avoid getting her hopes up--some secret part of her hoped it went well. Hoped he opened his mind as she’d asked him to. She kept catching Ben’s glance backwards at them in the rearview mirror, and offered him a smile every time. She could practically feel his anxiety as well. These were his parents after all, and the last thing Rey wanted was for them to be offended at their presence. Or hurt. Sneaking a glance down at Kylo she sighed, and brought his hand up to her mouth so she could kiss the back of it. 

“Almost there,” Ben promised, rounding one of the last turns before they came to stop in front of a mid-sized two story home. No sooner had they pulled into the drive, parking right beside a relatively well kept up Audi, than the front door opened and out bounded one of the biggest dogs Rey had seen. He seemed all brown fluff and teeth at first, barking in excitement from his place on the grass as Ben turned the ignition off in his car, and stepped out to greet the bear of an animal, rubbing behind his ears as he was nearly bowled over by the animal. 

“Hey Chewie!” Ben was saying, face split wide in a grin. Kylo went very still beside Rey, his eyes wide in horror at the name, and Rey kissed his cheek. 

“Did you have a dog by that name, too?” she asked, a little surprised. It didn’t sound all that commonplace, but then again her cat’s name was BB. 

“Not quite,” he said, biting his bottom lip and taking a deep breath through his nose. “Just an old family friend. My uncle, more or less.” 

Rey wanted to ask more, but they were already getting stares from both Han and a shorter woman at his side, her expression warm as she stared out at both her son, and the car he’d just left. “C’mon,” she murmured. “Let’s go meet them.” 

He didn’t look so sure, but Rey pulled him out of the car all the same. She was careful not to watch Han and Leia’s reactions just yet, tugging Kylo over towards where Ben was still ruffling Chewie’s fur, and she dropped down into a small squat to pet the enormous dog as well. He turned his attention to her and licked her cheek, causing a sharp, surprised laugh to bubble up from her mouth. Oh, wasn’t he sweet? “How long have you had him?” she asked Ben, tugging Kylo’s hand over towards the dog so that he could pet him as well. With some reservation, he stroked the dog’s head slowly, a smile creeping up his lips.

“Since forever,” Ben admitted. “And he’s still strong as hell.” 

That Rey could see. She grinned as the dog continued to try and lick her, his tail wagging furiously, until a whistle from atop the steps called him back towards the house. “Are we gonna eat, or just stay out here all night?” Han asked, not in the least bit angry sounding, as the all three looked up in his direction. Rey smiled, and the three trouped inside, Kylo behind, Ben leading. Leia hugged her son tightly, leaning on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, before squeezing Rey’s hand tightly as she was introduced by Ben. It was Kylo who Leia’s attention focused on next, her eyes warm as Kylo stared down at her as though he’d never seen someone so important, so vital to his very wellbeing. His hands were shaking, and Leia took them in her own. 

“I’ve heard you have a bit of a story to tell,” she said softly, voice just loud enough for Rey to hear over Han and Ben’s discussion about some sort of Falcon. 

He looked panicked for a moment. “I do?” 

Leia’s smile grew warmer, more understanding. “Ben said you’re something of a lost twin, that you’ve lost both of your parents before he met you. I’m sorry to hear about that.” She reached up to cup the side of his face, her own expression growing soft as Kylo squeezed his eyes shut and a couple of unshed tears tracked down his cheeks. “I want you to know that if you need anything, Han and I are here for you.” 

Rey had to look away, forcing herself to move inside with Han and Ben. She didn’t want to intrude upon their moment, already feeling a prickling in the corners of her eyes as she motioned forward to Ben so he wouldn’t look back to see where Kylo and Leia were. That was private. 

They’d moved into the living room, Han having offered them all a beer while they waited, before Leia and Kylo came in. Both looked a little red around the eyes, Kylo’s glassy even as he tried to hide them, and Leia moved to pour the both of them a glass of wine before a timer went off in what Rey could only guess was the kitchen. She reached out to take Kylo’s hand in her own, squeezing it, as Han moved to help his wife, and Ben looked at them both. His brow furrowed. “You okay?” 

_ Tactless _ . Rey tried not to sigh. 

“Well enough, thank you,” Kylo said, his tone pointed. Then, after a breath, and in a much softer voice: “Thank you, Ben. For bringing me here.” 

Rey’s throat felt tight as she looked down at her can of beer, trying to clear her throat as quietly as she could so as not to attract any attention, but if she didn’t they’d hear her sob. 

“You’re welcome, Kylo.” 

 

The table was laden with food by the time they walked in, and Rey moved quickly to see what she could do about helping, whether it was getting them place settings from the kitchen, or grabbing serving utensils. Anything to distract her from the fact that this was as close to a real family gathering as she’d gotten . . . ever. Certainly, she, Poe, and Finn did their version of Thanksgiving every year, but somehow this felt different. Kylo could feel it, too. She’d never seen him on such good behavior. Han caught Rey’s eye across the room as she was coming back with the bottle of wine Leia had opened, and after looking at both of the boys he winked at Rey. She very nearly dropped the bottle. There was no way he could have known about what they did, was there? Surely Ben wouldn’t have told him. At least she hoped not. 

That felt like a weird conversation to have had if they did, and she felt her heat warm up at the very thought of Han knowing about it--. She’d never had the luxury of dealing with meddling parents before, but this part didn’t sound all that appealing. 

“Rey, Ben tells me you’re a student at the school. I hope that doesn’t make anything awkward, you two living so close near one another,” Leia said, passing the steaming basket of rolls to Rey, who took it with a muted smile. 

“Oh, no. Not at all.” 

“Different buildings,” Ben said with a nod to his mother. “Different majors. Rey’s a genius with engineering. I was watching her do her homework the other day and it all went over my head.” 

Han barely hid a snicker at that. “You were watching her do homework? What are you, some kind of creep?” 

Leia smacked her husband on the back of the head, rolling his eyes, while Kylo barely hid a laugh himself. Ben’s ears burned and he scowled into the spoonful of mashed potatoes he put on his plate. Rey reached over to rub his back gently, trying not to seem too affectionate and realizing how poorly she was failing as she felt Leia’s eyes track the movement. Kylo’s, too. 

“That’s saying nothing about the papers I’ve heard him have to grade. They’re horrible. It’s lucky he doesn’t have me in any of his classes because I’d only add to his misery.” 

There was an appreciative laugh that rippled around the table, and Ben shot her a quick smile in thanks. 

“And Kylo, what do you do?” Leia asked, attention turning towards him, her bright eyes not missing the way that all three of them seemed to stop what they were doing to look at one another. 

“I’m currently between jobs,” Kylo said with a small smile. “Working out what I want to do with my life. I’ve . . . piloted before, but I’m looking to take on a more centralized leadership role.” 

“So you were in the military?” Han asked, eyeing his hair. “Pretty sure that haircut isn’t in the same neighborhood as regulation.” 

Rey cut in swiftly to keep Kylo’s confused look from being noticed. “He’s realizing how good it can be to not have marching orders to fall back on. How much more freeing it can be.” 

Leia’s smile was knowing. “Uh-huh. I bet. Han used to be in flight school--.” 

“Till I decided I liked having a mind of my own,” Han winked as he reached over to clap Kylo on the back. “Good for you, kiddo. If you need any work in between, I’ve got a couple of guys in mind that help vets acclimate to civilian life. It’s a real difficulty.” 

Rey blinked rapidly, unsure how it was that they’d gotten down this road but--but this was good. They were buying it. More than that, Kylo actually looked as though he was considering the idea. The conversation passed from that, with Rey catching Leia looking curiously between the three of them every so often, as though she couldn’t put her finger on what was different, but knowing that there was something going on beneath the surface of what they were proposing. 

Maybe getting out sooner, rather than later, was the best option. 


	13. thirteen.

With promises to come back soon, and a very sloppy farewell from Chewie, they departed the Solo house and drove, silently, back to their apartments. Rey laid her head down on Kylo’s shoulder in the back, her eyes drifting shut with the peaceful lull of the car. She wished she wasn’t so apt to falling asleep in car rides, but there was just something so soothing about it she couldn’t help it. Kylo’s fingers carded slowly through her hair, causing her to nestle further into his shoulder, sidling up to him as he wrapped an arm around her in the back. 

As though through cotton, with closed eyes and a half fading in and out consciousness, she thought she heard the two men talking. 

“--actually seem to like one another.”

“Your parents didn’t?” 

“Not unless they were in the bedroom.” 

“Oh, shit. That’s nasty. Thanks for that.” 

“I mean . . . .” 

Rey nestled closer, face scrunching up as a soft groan left her mouth. They were loud. 

“--they’re still together, then?” 

“For the most part. Dad runs . . . mom’s busy with benefits. Saving the world in the only way she can . . . volunteering for most of my childhood, while Han officiated races. You thinking  . . . that offer might help. Good cover story.” 

“It wasn’t a story. I piloted a TIE Silencer.” 

“--a what?” 

“Nevermind.” 

“You ever kill anyone before?” 

“Yes.” 

She squeezed her eyes shut all the more, and the world fell into darkness, with silence soon following behind. There was the quick, vague sense of being lifted, before she was laid back down on a soft surface, and felt two sources of heat on either side of her, keeping her safe. Secure. 

 

If she wasn’t careful, she was going to grow accustomed to sleeping easily. 

 

She didn’t bring up the meeting with Han and Leia in the days that followed. Didn’t have to, as it turned out. There was a lightness to Kylo’s step that she hadn’t seen before, an almost ease in the way he smiled at her when he thought she couldn’t see. He was far nicer to Ben than he was before, though Solo was very careful not to bring it up as well. Whereas Kylo looked to be more relaxed than ever, Ben couldn’t boast the same. He took to trying to draw Rey away from Kylo whenever he thought the other wasn’t paying attention, which was rare. His mouth would press together in an almost anxious way when he’d catch Kylo getting to be too handsy with Rey, but without a proper moment to speak alone Rey couldn’t interrogate him as to why. Classes blurred her days away until it was the weekend again, and Ben had proposed that they stay in for the next couple days as they’d gone out before. They’d rent movies, pop popcorn, and Rey was all for it as she considered it would do well to show Kylo just what sort of entertainment he could find on Earth. 

Not that he hadn’t tried to find entertainment for just the two of them when she’d come home in the evenings, but she’d been far too tired to do much more than kiss him before passing right out. 

Now, as she curled up between he and Ben on the couch, curling her legs up to the side of her as she grabbed a handful of popcorn, she smiled and nestled herself deeper into the heat the two men produced, eyes trained on the screen. Kylo reached out, not for the popcorn bucket, but for her ankle, tracing his fingertips over the soft skin he found there, while Ben reached an arm over to wrap around her shoulders, easing her closer. If Rey could purr, she would have been. The movie credits had just begun, Ben having fast forwarded through the previews to get to the actual film, when he leaned over to press his lips against her ear. 

“I need to speak with you in private. Soon.” 

There was something in his voice that broke her out of her comforted daze, her spine going stiff as she side eyed him, but didn’t dare risk looking entirely in his direction. Sure she’d hardly seen him for longer than minutes at a time what with their conflicting schedules, and certainly he’d been bent on speaking with her before--but why now? What had happened? Her mind raced with the possibilities as she struggled to swallow down her anxiety. 

“Just tell me now,” she said quietly, snuggling a little closer as Kylo took her feet into his lap and started massaging her arches. Oh,  _ oh  _ that felt so good. 

Her back shifted, arching ever so slightly, pressing her into Ben’s chest and affording him the perfect opportunity to hiss: “I don’t think you’re safe with him. When the eclipse comes, you need to let him go. Alone. Something’s not right, Rey.” 

There was his paranoia again, she thought as she wet her lips and side eyed him. Were they going to have this conversation every time he thought she and Kylo were getting too close? Was it jealousy? She’d done everything in her power to ensure that both men knew that she didn’t prefer one over the other, that she was content to have them both, but perhaps she hadn’t been blunt enough. 

“Why?” she hissed. 

“Ask him what happened to his Rey. Maybe he’ll answer you.” 

There it was again. The question had been on her mind for a while, too, and her mouth went dry as she stared out at the man just to her right. Did she want to know, truthfully? Certainly ignorance was bliss, far easier than the blunt admonition of whatever had happened, but would it make her happiest? 

That same shiver ripped through her spine again as she pursed her lips together and tried to focus on the movie, distracting herself from Ben’s question in the only way she knew how: ignoring it. His hand found hers, his fingers threading through with hers as he kissed her temple, leading Kylo to only dig his fingers all the harder into Rey’s feet. She moaned as he eased a muscle cramp over a particularly sore tendon, and stared at him with hooded, almost entirely dark eyes. 

The words were out before she could consider that this wasn’t the right time. “Kylo. What happened to your Rey? I know she died--but how?” 

Whatever comfort she’d been languishing in before was sucked from the air as though by a vacuum, as both Kylo and Ben went rigid on either side of her. It was almost laughable how quick they were to react, Kylo’s eyes shooting to Rey, then Ben, then back to Rey. 

“This isn’t really the time.” 

“But I want to know. We both do.” 

At the mention of both of them, Kylo’s gaze flickered to Ben and he glowered. “Did you put her up to this? Because I won’t answer your mundane questions, you have to get her to wheedle them out of me?” 

Ben jumped on the defensive, nearly jostling Rey off the couch with how quickly he moved to stare at Kylo. “Only because you don’t give straight answers. You never have, not since you’ve been here. You haven't told either of us the full truth about anything, and if you want Rey to leave--if you want even a shot at convincing anyone that you’re worth her time and effort chasing you across fucking  _ timelines and universes _ , then I think a little bit of honesty is warranted. You’re not the only one who cares about her.” 

The laugh that erupted from Kylo made Rey shiver, the movie all but forgotten as he dropped her feet from his laugh and got to his feet. “You didn’t give a damn about her until I got here. Now, suddenly, you see competition, you’ve tasted and felt her, and you care about her? I love her.” 

“You love  _ your _ Rey!” Ben said, his voice growing in volume as he stared just as pointedly back up at Kylo, his ears burning. “And I’ve always found her . . . distracting. Compelling.” 

Rey looked back at him, both in surprise and near exasperation. Really? But it took competition showing up for him to do anything about it? She could’ve smacked him, thinking that it was lucky Kylo hadn’t just pulled her along before Ben was able to do anything about it. 

Still, that wasn’t the point, was it? Kylo was laughing, the noise pulling her back into the reality of what the two were saying. “You’re pathetic, Ben. Weak. There’s a reason I dropped the name and became someone who actually  _ did  _ something about what I wanted. I’m here because I love Rey, regardless of where she comes from, where she is. Her soul and mine were meant to be together--.”

“Then, by your explanation it’s the same between she and I. You had your chance, and you’re evading the question--.” 

Kylo’s space split into a snarl. “Then I’ll endeavor to make this second chance better--.” 

“Both of you, stop it!” Rey all but jumped to her feet, cheeks flushed and eyes bright as she looked from one to the other. When had her life become some 2-bit romantic drama? When had she traded being outspoken, and going after what she wanted, for complacency to listen to these two duke it out? This was getting old. “You’re being ridiculous, and petty, and I’m not going to listen to you two bicker like a pair of old ladies over who gets the last dozen of eggs. I’m not just an object--I’m a person. I’m not your Rey,” she looked over to Kylo. “And I’m not yours to protect.” Her gaze was hard as it landed on Ben. “Kylo. Answer the question. What happened in your universe to--to your Rey? To your parents? No bullshit, just tell the truth. You can at least give me that, can’t you?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry to leave it like this, but the chapter would've either been ridiculously short, or insanely long--I opted for a middle ground, but I'm hard at work with the next chapter, to get it to you ASAP! Thanks so much for your continued support, your comments, everything. It helps make the process a million times easier.   
> Hope you enjoyed!


	14. fourteen.

No one moved for the space of a heartbeat, Rey caught between an immovable object and an unstoppable force, feeling as though both were simultaneously pulling her in opposite directions, and shoving her into space too tight for her to fit. Her chest felt tight as Kylo’s betrayed look made her mouth go dry, but she stood her ground. She had to know, had the right to be told. He had to understand that, didn’t he? How was she supposed to go with him if she didn’t know what sort of situation she was getting herself into? 

How was she supposed to be okay going with him and not knowing how her predecessor had  _ died _ ? Why hadn’t she asked this to begin with, before he could look at her with puppy dog eyes and furrowed brows, expression one that actually tightened her throat. 

She somehow found her voice. “Kylo. I deserve to know.” 

He clenched his jaw, his eyes moving to Ben. “He doesn’t. It’s none of his business. What’s between you and I has  _ never  _ been his business, Rey. He’s been sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong--.” 

“A family trait,” Ben said dryly, and Kylo’s hands tightened into fists. “And it won’t matter. If you tell me, she’ll tell me. Better to just come out with it now.” 

Kylo didn’t look convinced, his mouth opening, then closing, over and over again as he struggled to find the words he was looking for. Rey could wait, even as Ben huffed and shifted uncomfortably where he sat, clearly not having expected to be kept in the dark for as long as he was. He cleared his throat once, prompting Rey to look back at him and glower. No. They weren’t going to rush this answer, not when it was this important. 

With a sigh, Kylo waved his hand, and Rey heard the refrigerator open, the clink of glass on glass, and an unopened beer floated through the air and into Kylo’s waiting, open hand. Ben’s inhale was a sharp, surprised one, while Rey prepared herself, curling her toes and wrapping her arms over her waist. 

“I killed my father.” 

It was said so simply that Rey had to blink a couple times in shock, her mind failing to process the truth of his sentence, before simply gawking at him. Ben got to his feet, and the tension radiating off of him was palpable. He’d been right, and now that he could taste vindication, Rey had to reach back to take his hand in hers, trying to convey with a look that now wasn’t the time to gloat. 

Kylo’s next inhale was shaky, and Rey could see that her taking Ben’s hand had only made his nerve to continue that much weaker. She released Ben, and folded her hands in front of her now to keep from doing anything else rash. She had to be careful, careful not to lose either of them, careful not to lose herself. 

“I stabbed him through the heart with my saber. I thought it would make me stronger. He was trying to get me--to convince me to come home. I didn’t hesitate to kill him, I didn’t care for the rogue of a man who’d sired me. But I . . . it didn’t help. It split me, made me vulnerable to you, Rey. To my Rey,” he corrected himself, lips staying parted as he took a ragged inhale. “I fought against her that evening, with my father’s blood on my hands and a blaster wound in my side from my uncle, Chewbacca. Rey defeated me, rejected me soundly and gave me the scar you see on my face, and on my shoulder.” He motioned to it. “Not two days later we--the First Order that I fought for, that I killed for, had my mother and her Resistance on the run. I took two other men with me in two separate ships. I had her in my sights. I could’ve ended the Resistance right then.” His swallow was palpable, and behind Rey, Ben’s exhale was harsh. 

Rey’s face felt wet, and it wasn’t until she opened her mouth to inhale a deep, shaky breath, that she tasted salt and realized that she’d been crying. 

“I didn’t. I couldn’t take the shot. For as much as I hated my father--my mother--. She never deserved the pain I inflicted on her. Never deserved the grief that I forced her to live through. I couldn’t do it.” He took a deep pull from the beer, and Rey took that as a chance to wipe the tears from her face, looking down at the salt tracks on the back of her hands as though they could explain how it was she’d fallen for someone like  _ him _ . How it was she could still feel so terrible even as he professed the dark truth he’d been hiding from her. 

Had he told her from the beginning, she might’ve thrown him out. Called him a murderer. A killer. Now her heart ached with the truth of his story. 

Kylo pulled away from the drink with a dissatisfied smack of his lips, his expression souring. “Because I couldn’t take the shot, one of my men took it instead. I watched her be sucked into space. I watched, and felt through the Force, as her life met its end.” He blinked rapidly, Rey close enough to see as tears started to coat his eyelashes. He breathed slowly, turning his head upwards as his adam’s apple bobbed. No one spoke in the silence, no one brave enough to break the heavy tension that coated the air. Rey had half a mind to reach out to him, a mad desire to kiss his hands despite the deeds he’d confessed to. Was it any wonder he’d nearly broken down at seeing Leia in the flesh, very much alive, and just as happy to see him? 

When he didn’t start speaking again, it was Rey who cleared her throat to rasp: “And Rey?” What had happened to her? 

Kylo looked forward, his eyes glassy as they fixed on her. “She and I fought together to overthrow my master. Snoke had linked our minds through the Force, and when she’d come to find--to help me--he’d thought I would complete my training and kill her myself.” He wet his lips, shaking his head so much that his hair fell into his eyes. He shoved it away. “I couldn’t. I cut my master in half, and between Rey and myself we disposed of the rest of his guard. But when the time came--when I offered her the universe, offered her to be my empress and to help me bring peace to the galaxy, she refused. She left me.” The words were harder, now, cracked around the edges with an anger that Rey hadn’t heard directed near her before. “She became the hero that she was always meant to be, and I her villain, but I never stopped loving her. I never stopped trying to make her see, that together she and I were powerful enough to make the change we both wanted in the universe. Even if our methods were different, we could have made it work.” He sucked his teeth, and Rey very nearly winced at the sound, at how his expression contorted into a grimace that had the hair on the back of her neck standing on edge. 

“Hux--. General Hux saw her as my greatest weakness. As with Snoke, he’d thought that her death might prompt me to action. To become who he thought I was meant to be. He gave orders behind my back, orders I was too distracted to have paid attention to, to shoot her on sight. It’s no easy task to kill a Jedi. But they found a way. They had her outnumbered, a dozen and a half men to one, on a planet that was not built for habitation but was strong enough in the Force to have called to her. To have called to me. I wasn’t supposed to even  _ be  _ there, but felt her--. And she, me.” 

He was trembling now, his grip on the bottle tight enough to very nearly crack the glass. Rey stepped forward slowly, watching as his eyes moved to focus on her, to watch as she took the glass bottle from his hand and set it onto the side table. She squeezed his hand slowly, not giving it back, and felt the violent shudder go through him. “She looked up--she called me  _ Ben _ , like it was as normal as breathing. Like she’d been waiting for me. And I watched from half a mile away as a blaster bolt caught her in the stomach, and felt as her soul was ripped from mine. We were connected in a way that transcends words and understanding, bonded by Snoke surely, but maintained it because neither of us could imagine going back to being so  _ alone _ . And right before my eyes she--she left me again.” 

The bottle on the table began to shake, such was the power of Kylo’s grief. It practically washed over them, the lights flickering as he trembled in Rey’s hands, as he struggled to maintain an even breathing pattern. Rey squeezed his hands in hers, feeling her heart shatter as he folded in on himself and sobbed. Tears hit the back of his hands and rolled down to feed the cracks between their palms, where he held onto her as though she was all tethering him to that world. His whole frame bent, broad shoulders brought together by the magnitude of his inaction, of his inability to save either woman he loved, and again Rey felt herself beginning to cry. 

“I never meant--no matter what I said--I never wanted to live a life without her,” he gasped, unable to look up at her. “Without  _ you _ , Rey. Please. I never meant for it to go that far--I was--I was so--.” He choked now, as Rey released his hands from hers, and instead wrapped her arms around him and allowed him to bury his face in her shoulder. He soaked through her shirt, feeling as though he could stain her skin with his tears, but Rey let him. The lights stabilized, the bottle remained steady, and slowly Kylo’s breathing began to even out. He was murmuring against her skin, the same words, the same low rumble of his voice against her, but the words were a mystery to her. 

‘ _ I love you. I’m sorry. Rey, I'm so sorry. _ ’ She swore she could hear them in her head, echoing through the memories of what Kylo had just told her, bouncing around her confusion and weighing it so much she had to rest her forehead against his shoulder. 

“I know,” she managed to murmur, fingers digging into his back. “I know, Kylo.” As she spoke, she felt Ben step up behind her to lay his hand on Ben’s other shoulder. The warmth of both men enveloped her, and she couldn’t help but sink into the sensation of having them both so close. 

“Don’t go back. Stay,” Ben said, his words rough around the edges. “Stay, Kylo. You don’t owe anyone anything there. Stay here. _Stay with us_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you'll notice that this is the second to last chapter. I've got an epilogue written up to follow after this. This chapter is the one scene, besides the very beginning when Kylo first arrives, that I've had planned since this fic's inception, and I hope I did it justice. It's been such a ride writing this, and I'm so very, very grateful for all of your continued support and comments. Thanks so much for sticking around!


	15. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my loves, this is it. I cannot thank you enough for your continued support, despite the wait between updates and chapters, despite the short one and long updates. Your continued comments made writing this an absolute pleasure, and while I'm sad to see it end, I'm also glad to have been able to complete it this and present it to you.  
> Thank you, again, and I hope you find the epilogue to be satisfactory. I fought with it for some time before deciding just how I wanted it to go, and ran headfirst with it.  
> Much like I've done for most of this, not going to lie. 
> 
> Thanks again! If you liked this, I hope you'll take a peek at what else I'm working on!

Just outside, the moon glowed a deep, blood red that could be seen through the windows of Rey’s apartment if she cared to look. If she was keen on watching she would’ve oohed and ahhed with the rest of the city. A strange force rushed through the onlookers, as though they were privy to an event that went further than their limited understanding. They would look on and recount how the moon seemed bigger than ever, how gorgeous and how close it came, close enough one could almost reach out to touch it. If she was interested in watching, she would’ve noticed the strange silvery sheen outlining the moon, the way that the world rippled as the bonds between worlds lessened.

She wasn’t. 

Rey’s back arched as Kylo thrust up into her, Ben just behind, his lips leaving large, red marks on her golden skin as he sucked and bit at every inch he could find, his own rhythm slow and steady, a heady juxtaposition to how Kylo moved as though his life depended on it. His fingers left indents on Rey’s hips, gripping her tightly to remind himself that she was somehow real. She was atop him, she had begged him to  _ stay _ , and that she wasn’t afraid. 

She had kissed and promised him every morning that she wasn’t afraid of him, until the sharpness started to leave his gaze, until his own fear dwindled to the faintest of whispers. 

Her bed squeaked with their movement, though the sound was as familiar as the feel of both men on either side of her. Ben’s right hand slid around her front, thumb pressing slowly against her clit as he rubbed it in direct counterpoint to how slow he was moving, finding that strange middle ground between himself and his twin as he murmured against her skin: “Fuck, Rey. You’re so tight. So perfect around us both. You feel so good.” 

She keened, skin rising in goosebumps as she reached back to dig a hand into Ben’s hair, pulling him around for a kiss that was mostly tongue and teeth, the angle a little too tight, too close to afford them the depth that Rey would’ve liked. As Kylo’s hands left her hips to grasp her breasts, teasing her nipples between his fingers, she broke from Ben and leaned down to dig her fingers into Kylo’s shoulders, rolling her hips between them both as her lips found his. She wondered if he could taste his twin on her tongue as she slid past his parted lips, whining when he sank his teeth into her bottom lip. 

A second finger joined Ben’s first, the added pressure delicious as she felt her pleasure begin to sing in her veins, the cacophony loud enough to drown out all other thought. She felt the world begin to spin around her, the already dimmed lights blinking in and out of existence as she rocked back onto Ben, as she clenched around Kylo. Without preamble, without allowing for anything more than a whimper to pass her lips and into Kylo’s mouth, she broke into a thousand tiny pieces, her soul fragmented and reflected back at her in Kylo’s glassy stare. 

A thousand different versions of them played back in her mind, a thousand different lifetimes, different worlds. They held hands as they came into the world, as they left together, as they fought and reconciled. Worlds where she bumped into him and felt her the ground beneath her give way to emotion, worlds where she spat vitriol at him only to be dragged into a secret alcove and kissed until she felt her soul leave her body. Worlds where she had his blood on her hands, worlds where he held her hand as she heaved with child birth, entire lifetimes blazing past her closed eyes as she sank into the sensation and felt the two men succumb to their pleasures as well. 

As Ben pulled himself out of her, and Kylo eased her onto her side between the two of them, Rey managed to thread both of her hands with theirs, eyes half opened and sleep-heavy, catching a last glance of the passing eclipse out her window. 

If this was to be her life, then she’d make the most out of every last second. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In response to the couple questions I've received about where Hux is in this 'verse--I didn't have time or the right placement to put either he, or Snoke. We'll reason that they're somewhere in Ben's past far, far away. I tried working both in at different points, but each time it felt convoluted and really effed with the flow, and so I put it off until, well, here we are. I hope you can forgive the oversight.


End file.
